“Rat Trick” sounds a lot better when you’re throwing them from the “Ratnut Gallery.”

Never hate yourself for a fabulous mis-read.

I dunno, those medical professionals could have been women, so they didn’t have the promise that he did. Promising 20-year old knows best!

Touche.

THE LARGEST CACTUS WE CAN FIND!

I just feel like at this point that anyone who supports Trump has shown themselves to be a pretty shitty person.

People are gonna rehash everything until we die. It’s part of marking how old we feel we’ve become.

This video always fascinates me for far too long.

Hey, I passed asking such a long time ago. Yesterday was a petulant, whining beg.

UGH, I guess I’ll try that part today. I forgot my mojito mix at home.

SWEET BABY

I haven’t complained enough, clearly.

JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE.

I unsubscribed from the memo and now I can’t figure out how to dress myself. :(

Poodles are the best.

I only know of the one where I jump up and down in my office for 10 minutes, then twirl until I fall over. Did I choose the wrong ritual?

XDDD I think I’ve been here like...6 years! I deserve points for holding on!

Can I please please PLEASE get ungreyed, please? PLEASE?

Yes, Trump, juries destroy men’s lives, rather than the men who made bad decisions themselves.

You mean a side effect like herd immunity and general increased health for the entire population?