I live in Florida. The cops here are imaginary.

God, I miss the ‘90s.

I can not, in good conscience, support such a half-measure; however I would be willing to generously donate to any organization seeking to catapult the plaintiffs into the Pacific.

Goddam, this is the stuff dreams are made of.

I want to hold the clutch in on that car, rev to 7000 rpm, and sidestep it.

If a person answers the phone, that’s a red flag that you’re not speaking with a credit card company.

Hi

One is for Ramming, one is for Dodging.

No funnel required on modern oil bottles.

No...and never buy a new RV. That is all I know about buying RVs.

Memes like this are a Poisson to Young minds.

“Great success; nobody died.”

Oh, man. Go-karts. Go-karts are where sense and reason go to die. There’s something about a nice, safe-ish kart with bumpers that I’m not financially liable for that activates something terrible deep inside my lizard brain.

Holy shit you picked like the most unreliable car from every decade haha. That G60.... it loves to fall apart and supercharge its insides thru the engine.

Reminds me of a letter to men’s health once:

I wrote it before... You know how you know there is an engineer in the room? He’ll tell you.

Are you serious? “One of the cheapest?”

I’m weeping at his musical choices.

So, you want it to account for all the details of your trip but you’re unwilling to enter those details yourself?