Seriously. I can't say for sure having not been in this position, but I feel like my husband telling me he's bi would have zero effect on our relationship even prior to marriage—he's not suposed to be sleeping with anyone else regardless of their gender or sex, so what does it matter in the grand scheme? But if your…

I think the real dad issue is that if her dad is some scuzzy old closeted dude who's going to blackmail his son in law, this isn't just going to go away because the son in law met the first blackmail condition. I'd bet this is going to come up over and over again, any time the dad wants control of a situation. As I…

Yeah, I would definitely, definitely need to know that. There's no way he could keep that a secret for their entire marriage.

Seriously! I think I'm a level headed enough person that if the man I loved was bisexual and had had previous relationships with other men, but loved me and wanted to be faithful to me, I would be shocked but ultimately remain with him. However, cruising either of parents would be a definite dealbreaker. Ewh.

Tinder in Stockholm is mind-blowing. Berlin is full of hot artists that want to smoke cigarettes with you in parks. If you like underground clubs (and dudes under 28), Paris. Buenos Aires guys are pretty laid back and love wine, so you know where that can lead. And if you're not sure how the man pool is going to be…

"YOU DEFINITELY CANNOT MARRY SOMEONE AND NOT TELL THEM THAT YOU FUCKED THEIR DAD."

This is why he shouldn't marry her. Like, if he rolls out that secret, the family falls apart. Her mom and dad will get divorced, most likely: He's cheating, that never ends well, and covering up his sexuality, which also never ends well. His daughter will probably never trust him again. Basically if he drops that…

BUT, in his defense, he didn't know it was her dad when he was hooking up with him before he met his fiancee. At least that's how I read it.

Yeah, I have to admit, if I got to the "getting married" stage in a relationship, and my wife waited until then to tell me she was bi, I'd be upset. Not "break-up" upset, nowhere close, but pretty hurt.

I would take a two-pronged approach if I were in this guy's shoes. I 100% believe that you cannot have a successful relationship if you are not completely comfortable with being open with all aspects of your sexuality with your partner, and vice-versa.

I don't think the bisexuality is big, per se. I think that disclosing sexual orientation is part of the honest open communication in a relationship. If she finds out now and is okay with it, great. If she finds out further on in the relationship I can imagine her not being okay with the dishonesty (because it isn't…

Yeah the bisexuality I could handle but sleeping with my DAD (or, to be clear, either parent)??? NOOOO NOPE NOPE NO GOODBYE NOPE.

Exactly!! It's not like it was some guy they ran into at the grocery store, or the mailman or something. It's his soon to be father-in-law, and that could be WAY more damaging after they're married. Even if he says "Hey, by the way, before I met and fell in love with you I dated and slept with other guys" that doesn't…

But say he tells her about the bisexuality and she is fine with it. Then they just go ahead and get married with that big nasty skeleton in the closet? Or does he just break it off and not tell her why? Neither of those seems fair to her.

I don't really see the marriage happening, either, but I think it would be even worse if he told her about the dad. I kind of think that, as someone below said, the dad is hoping that if the letter writer tells his fiancee about the bisexuality she will end the relationship and they're both safe. I can see that being…

Right? I'm sitting here going "...you...you do know it's HER DAD RIGHT!?"

It could be a dealbreaker for her but it will be worse if she finds out down the road. Given that her father - and her fiance - aren't above blackmail, I don't trust either of them to keep this secret long term.

Seems like pretty damn important information to me. I would want to know if my future spouse had sex with one of my parents. I just don't see the marriage happening.

The way that I read it is her dad is blackmailing him to tell the truth about his bisexuality, not their encounters. He's wondering how much to disclose or if to just walk away.

Yeah I feel like she dodged the actual question.