We rehabbed a lone survivor baby bunny last spring after the nest was demolished by some varmint. We let her go in the backyard in June and she hangs out back there now, showing up every night at the door for dinner. Usually they vanish upon release, it’s weird that she has stuck around for handouts. We have created a…

I have nothing but respect for first responders who risk and sometimes lose their lives trying to save people in the line of fire. They are heroes. But I hate how the Cheeto-in-Chief and all the gun humpers go straight to "thanks to the first responders" so they don't have to address the gun problem in this country.…

I get what SJP is saying. I always thought it was weird that while Don Draper on “Mad Men” was consistently portrayed as a (handsome) lying, alcoholic, philandering, and neglectful douchebag of a husband, friend and father, viewers (and reviewers) would his forgive his shitty personality and actions in light of his…

Separate from their chat, their hair-dos were conversing: T’s do: “No product here, I’m gloriously wavy from birth!” H’s do: “Well I am wavy AND shinier in the sun! People look at me first before even his face!” T’s do:“You looked like shit in that war movie!” H’s do:“Got me there, but that was for art!” T’s do:“I…

My lazy old standby:  Put a bunch of watches on a belt and be a "waist of time."

That look! I think your kitty might wait until you're asleep tonight and murder you.

That dog has awesome teeth. 

The Nik-L-Nips to registered offender ratio is pretty strong.  Just a heads up.

What a coincidence. Many days, I can be seen driving around the flat earthed Midwest in my 13 year old eternally service-engine lit station wagon with my own live crew of 5 rescue dogs (4 keepers, 1 foster). I really should license my life, as in take out a license to THRILL.  Puppy snugs are the best even from the…

I'm not violent but I have an urge to take a baseball bat to that stuck-up showoffy Hadid fridge. My fridge currently has one pack of veg hot dogs, a jar of sauerkraut, and maybe 8 jars of different types of mustard. Also some dog training treats and half a can of cat food (with a plastic lid for minimal cat food…

She can hang out on  a park bench with Steve Bannon and yell racist things at crows. Bye bitch.

Looking like the Powder/Opie Taylor/space alien mashup that she is, I really figured Tilda would be a shelter mutt adopter. Disappointed.

Talking about the older Kardashians here but it’s my experience as a middle aged lady that wealthy women who have traded on their physical appearance really start to panic as they get older And by panic I mean as their faces age they start to control what they can. They get superskinny, buy new boobs, do all sorts of…

Ew. I’m  a great panic cleaner.

When he sings his mouth guppies the mic and that’s all I can see. He’s so overly close to it you know his gross mouth germs are coating it by the end. They should toss it into a hazmat receptacle after every show. Maybe after every song.

Living longer is good and bad. Good because you get to spend more time with your loved ones and bad because at a certain point stuff just starts wearing out (brain, bones, organs, wallet).

Someone needs to come up with a vaccine for stupidity. First give it to idiot reproducers who think they know better than science and then give it to voters.

You know Pete Davidson's dad still gets the bragging rights in heaven for that minute his son was engaged to a girl waaaay out of his league.

Every day as I go out the door I pause, breathe deeply and center myself, contemplating the great question: "Oh Universe, how snarky and judgy would the fire fighters be about the current condition of my house if they had to break in today?"

It took my sister a year to get back but she still has a pooch. My other friend when she was done after 2 babies got herself a tummy tuck. Kind of sucks but on the bright side, that  amazing beautiful human you baked in there is a keeper.