It gets gross when the grapefruit’s boyfriend asks to go in rawdawg because you know, you can't get knocked up right now

Why is this strange? Vast majority of stadiums in US have no wifi and you can't send a text or an Instagram to save your life...especially at halftime or other breaks when the other 40k people standing next to you are also trying to send their messages through the one nearby cell tower

No we didn’t know a Stiker was the one who scored the most goals. Because most of us are men, and therefore do not know about a sport where a fucking scarf is the primary fan symbol so don’t know soccer above the third grade level and sure as fuck do not call it “footie”

It almost always is cheaper to settle even a questionable or non-existent claim than to litigate it even a little bit. To fight the case would have involved a year of depositions and document discovery. ESPN would have to hire a big law firm and have several $800/HR attorneys working on it since they are in NY metro…