Sorry, friend.

The Lady Balls and I have been watching through Friends on Netflix. It strikes me as such a perfect time capsule of 90's miscellania: answering machine message and their beeps, the obsession with over-engineered coffees, resume-mailing and barely-functional laptops. Also, during The One Where Rachel Quits in S3, I was…

I will never take Morrissey seriously until he takes a principled stand against the cannibalistic consumerism of the oxygen industrial complex.

I think I might just weep. Wait, what's the AVC version of weeping?

And the spot behind him was only big enough for a Smartcar.

Milayna Vayntrub is one of my authorized celebrity crushes.

He once parallel parked and pulled forward far enough so another car could fit in.

What, is she a good pilot or something?

THEY CAME FROM BEHIND

Eh, he's supposed to be an SF guy. I've seen SF dudes with a lot longer hair than that, including in their blues.

I think she also used to have Rachel Flotard of Visqueen backing her. Rachel's super talented in her own right, and I can't recommend Visqueen enough for non-cloying, fun indie pop.

*faints dead away*

Keep that city talk west of the Cascades!

The Needle Has Landed sticks in my brain in the best way and has been on my workout/running playlist for years.

Hey, that glove is medical grade silicone!

Finally, KFC has the courage to defy the powerful bread lobby, which keeps blocking research into the brain-eating effects of bread.

NBC, uh, finds a way.

That analogy would work if these shows were actually good.

May as well just burn off all the episodes on a Friday night, while we're at it.

Again, 30 Rock proves itself to be more prophesy than sitcom.