Aw, horns up is so hard with this superfluous fourth finger.

Shit, so that's why putting my boner on people's legs to get them to join the Knowledge Bowl team was not a successful recruiting strategy.

When this song came out in high school, it served only to tell me that my dancin' wood was not out of the ordinary. Oh, and that generally the girls who would dance with you during this song were either oblivious or down to toss a make-out your way.

Glad to hear the twins are okay. I googled TTFS and it seems like that could have gone badly. Happy birthday to them!

I actually think I'd recommend to any newly-pregnant couple to avoid the internet altogether. Mrs. Balls is only seven weeks along and we've already had a blighted ovum scare (thought we were further along so had a preliminary ultrasound too early; second one showed all was well), among other bullshit, brought on…

This reminds me of my favorite Futurama/NYC joke (Season 2): "No one in New York drove. There was too much traffic!" I still use a modified version of that one every time I visit the city.

Sorry for responding to an old thread, but the Lady Balls just got this book and insisted on watching the movie on Netflix. Wish I'd seen this advice before we got the book…

"Corgan opened a tea shop in the Chicago suburbs, where he later staged an eight-hour musical tribute to Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha."

In my defense, that was around the time I left for Basic Training/Airborne School. And I deployed to Iraq right in the middle of the next two seasons after that. With our deployment and training schedule it was pretty difficult to get into serialized dramas (one of the main reasons I didn't get catch up with Lost…

*does pushups*

A bunch of people have said that in the comments. I stopped watching after season three or four; think I'll have to close the loop and finish that one up. Anyone know which streaming service has it?

True Canadian Detective: detectives get persistent complaints about loud Chantal Kreviazuk jams being played at a house in Surrey, BC. They go knock on the door and politely ask them to keep it down; the noise ordinance kicks in at 9 pm and their neighbors are sort of TO'd.

Haha. =) She's writing very important things about how you should feel guilty for everything you've ever enjoyed.

Sort of why I became a lawyer, too. I get to write and be praised for good writing, without the existential guilt of not being able to be perfectly expressed and popular.

My wife and her friends just had a discussion this weekend about one of their college friends who works at State and puts in 12+ hour days every day while everyone else barely clocks and puts in a full day work. She rocketing through the ranks, but we're in our mid-30s and she's the only one of their cohort still…

I'm starting to get into the "embrace your inevitable doom" camp. A lot of my big career aspirations had age maximums (federal employment). And even that highly derivative Tolkienian/Heinleinian epic that I've been outlining for 15 years isn't going to magically spring into existence through the words of an…

Yeah, we're fully aware that the clock is ticking. And I guess it wasn't totally accurate to qualify my statement with "at this point," because my wife voiced concerns with the body criticism (see my reply to @scootscoot below) and he seems to have changed his behavior. His desire to get rid of the cats, though,…

Yeah, I didn't mean to imply that educated, intelligent people are somehow immune from emotional abuse. I think even she recognizes and addresses some of the problems — when he was making comments about her body, she pushed back hard and he eventually stopped. But she nearly broke up with him over it. So, I think that…

I grew up with two yellow labs — the first time I ever saw my Harrison Ford-level grumpster father cry was when one of them died. And Mrs. Balls and I are picking up a lab pup next week to add to the family.

"Best Cowboys" was a centerpiece in one of my longer-running theories that Jack was experiencing do-overs of the Groundhog Day/Dark Tower Series/Desmond lucid flashbacks variety, mostly because of Jack's insistence on saving Charlie. I still think that it might have been a possibility rolling around in the creators'…