Sweet, it pays off again to be a short atheist stoner.

Unrelated, but does anyone know how to reach out to Jezebel to share something? Because this has been floating around on my facebook, and it made me feel sick for all my female friends who are LDS...

Zayn was not in the picture because he was too busy saving your life:

If you want to get your gal to break up with you, just show her your prolapse porn. EASY PEASY.Or a hot picture of Brezhnev.

That's so cool that Amber Rose took her baby to prom with her.

I have to ask, did you ever have a soul? or did you give it to the devil in exchange for some videogames sometime before this comment?

I tell people that all the time. I'm a survivor of domestic violence. I hear so many people say, "oh, no one could ever hit me! I'd get out of that relationship immediately!" It's not quite that simple, unfortunately. They wait until you love them, until you've built a life with them, and, most importantly, until…

WHY WOULD YOU MIX RANCH WITH YOUR SWEET TEA OH MY GOD.

In my late teens I had a series of jobs, all in the same shopping center (it was the only one walking distance from home), all completely fucked up. I assume this was because the hiring pool was pretty limited, so it was just the same fairly small group of fuckups moving jobs around the shopping center. Only Job #1…

Worked for a very Mormon attorney who had seven children and a devoted wife, as well as a habit of watching porn all day at work with his door open. One day he must have accidentally unplugged his headphones, and myself and another paralegal were treated to the sound of a woman loudly climaxing. She looked at me…

There are plenty of dudes speaking up in this thread, you probably didn't need to share. And you definitely didn't need to add the qualifier.

Can't wait until they discover cocoa butter from the Island of Palmer's.

Yeah, easy to be a good grandpa when you've retired after making a king's random doing leveraged buyouts and liquidations of companies. I'll bet there are a few grandpas who would love to spend more time with the kids but are instead spending their golden years as Walmart greeters after their jobs were liquidated by…

if guests had read the wedding website

I should have said "depends on what your ass looks like". Crap, missed my chance.

I've always heard the expression as "nodding out", as opposed to "nodding off", in the drug using arena. Lingo varies geographically, no?

It's pretty weird to call out Khloe for being disrespectful to Native American culture and call them "hairy gypsies" in the same sentence.

Well, like I said in my OP, I believe much if not most of what the church teaches. I'm still working through what exactly I personally believe and what I don't, what is actual doctrine and what is just tradition (a distinction I only recently learned to make). It's going to be a lifelong process. Sorry for the…

Love her style.

To those of you saying that Kelly (and by extension all Mormon feminists) should just leave the church, please know how hurtful that is for us to hear—and we hear it from both sides: "faithful" members of the church who tell us to go somewhere else if we want to see change within the church, and from people on the…