I'm going to start drawing my lips from my forehead to my nipples and no one can stop me.
re: sleeves. You can have them added to a dress as long as you have a good seamstress (which your bridal shop should have-they will attempt to talk you out of it, and they will not do it until the very end- they will try to talk you into a bolero- this is your wedding wear what you want to.) I bought a dress for $700…
SLEEVES. This was my endless quest. To the person who asked for sleeves, I also really wanted sleeves when I got married last year! You could try what I did out of desperation: Chop a sleeved dress in half (have a tailor put some elastic on the bottom) and stick it on top of a skirt you like! It was really cheap…
The ACLU makes an app called mobile justice so you can record police encounters and immediately send to the ACLU if they come at you all crazy. It also has info on your rights and how to deal with police. Download it! Police the police!
It started out as sniffling around the time the first verse ended. Then it went down hard and I thought I would save some pride if I concentrated on finishing the song instead of crying ugly sobs. By the time I was at “Pain is all you’ll find” I stopped singing altogether & cried into the mike - big ugly sobs. I cried…
I started sobbing in the middle of karaoke-ing Careless Whispers. Then I went home, collected everyone’s pet poop & mailed it to his office.
Got dragged out of a bar by my friend after I got shitfaced and started crying uncontrollably. The cause- “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” came on and I JUST WANTED TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME.
Oh! This isn’t like a break up story but I stopped hanging out with my bff because he was into me like that and became pretty possessive.
This is a really great story and I’mma let you finish, but the image of a drugged-up girl laying intubated in the ICU writing “Beyoncé?” desperately on a piece of paper for a confused, pitying nurse is the funniest fucking image of all time.
This Pissing Contest is making me feel super lame because I have no good stories, just your garden variety sleeping around and making bad decisions and crying a lot.
I was going through a very ugly divorce. My husband cheated multiple times and eventually moved out. While this was going on, I had to change the locks on the doors to my house due to a burglary, and didn’t tell him. One day, he stopped by to get something from the house and couldn’t get in. He flew into a rage and…
When I found out my long term boyfriend had a new girlfriend, while we were still living together, I walked to the nearest travel agent and booked a flight to Europe, got an express passport and then quit my job. I was outta there in under two weeks.
I’m not going to win one until they feature the category “the time you ate so much candy so fast that you didn’t know where it went and got mad at your roommate”.
NYE 2003: Long story short, I saw my long-term boyfriend making out with my “friend” (LIKE TWO HOURS BEFORE THE BALL DROPPED so there was no excuse). I screamed at him but didn’t bother with her because I didn’t want her to know she could get to me like that (she was SUCH a pathetic attention whore who lived for shit…
This was during the “pack your shit and get THE FUCK OUT OF HERE” part, but he was threatening to kill himself.
I have ex stories, but those are not fun. I do have a concert story to share that I wasn’t able to last week because it was the end of the semester and I had four different things due and had no time for anything else. It is a long story, but I love it.
Right? I actually got goosebumps!
“Forgive me please, but that’s what you get when you play with people’s emotions.”