FIFA is proof that there is no length rich old men will go to get even richer.

It’s Nine Inch Nails you cute, fat, and ignorant marsupial.

Sepp Blatter: I heard ten Brazilian workers died for the 2014 World Cup.

Yeah, I was initially, ‘Oh, how “nice” for them - they found a police officer with their same, wacked-out morals to talk to their son about sexual repression and ways it can cause you some serous legal issues.’ But it turns out it’s like, ‘Who knows why the son did it, but let’s introduce him to a legit pedophile and…

This really is the world cup of spam and we’re issuing a red card.

I cringed as I heard it live earlier. There’s a reason the rest of the world rolls its eyes at us, and this is an example.

Obviously Kanye’s place is that big for his wife’s ass and his ego.

“I want to push your head down really hard while you give me head”

Of course the easiest way?

People are laughing, but AOL has managed to adapt itself pretty well over the years. They now own a lot of big internet properties like HuffPo and TechCrunch. They had revenues of $2.3 billion last year and actually turned a profit. How many internet companies formed in the mid-90s can claim the same thing?

The deal is aimed at Verizon’s large corporate and enterprise customers, who will now have highly professional @aol.com addresses.

So.....does this mean Verizon is getting into the CD distribution business?

My best guess is they want everyone’s AIM conversations from 1997-2007 to sell and blackmail people with.

I wish I had chefs to make me meals with strong briny flavors all day. I’d love some prosciutto and capers right now.

My favourite food at that age was sand.

Lest we forget, she also wrought Jenny McCarthy.

Thanks, Oprah, for inflicting Dr. Phil on our national culture.

When we were shitty little kids, my mom sat us down and enthusiastically said, "Let's make a list of all your favorite things! What are your most favorite toys and your favorite things to do?" After we excitedly told her these things and she wrote them down, she put the list on the fridge and said, "Now, next time you…

YES! My dad wasn't really a spanker (although he would in extreme circumstances) but what he lacked there, he made up for with sheer punishment ingenuity. He did everything from take doors off hinges, to make us do gardening work and help with projects around the house instead of hanging with friends in the summer.

I have a smart, mouthy four-year-old boy, and I do hit him when he does things like push, kick, or hit his little brother, because an eye for an eye. I always ask him, "how do you like that?"