Yeah, the Soup is my source for knowing what everyone at work is even talking about. Not just Kardashians, but Housewives, and Toddlers and Tiaras, and all that crap. I could know the jokes without having to actually WATCH the shows. Huge bummer.

Just turned 45. Is my advanced degree going to save me?!?

Plus it cuts down on packaging waste!

I had customers bring all their serving pieces into my restaurant to be filled for special occasions. It was a win for me because I didn’t have to put any extra labor into offsite catering.

I don’t normally comment, but I have some knowledge that applies here. I’m replying to Joe because I really don’t want to reply to the trolls.

I’m a special education coach in a very large urban school district, formerly a special education teacher. Part of my job is to help schools support positive behavior for all…

Gruesome is what happens when women can’t get legal abortions anymore.

At this point, all the Republican candidates are basically just playing a game of conservative madlibs, just filling in the blanks:

Yes!

Saving that phrase for ever and ever. Works in so many ways (in my case, describing feelings of the “adult child whose parents suddenly divorce).

I had a falling out with my best friend of 17 years about 5 years ago. We were inseparable and she’s in almost every memory I have; it’s like someone burned down my archives. It was harder than any breakup I’ve ever had.

Except if you’re Canadian. Then it’s sort of a cultural expectation ;)

It’s not a lifestyle choice; they were sewn this way!

The only feelings I have about Miley Cyrus are deep longings to seize her tongue with kitchen tongs.

Och aye, the Circ desk is a special place. It’s where librarians hone their death stares (for all the good they seem to do. Youths today).

If you’ll excuse me, I must away to the 827s with my shushing finger. Who wants to bet $5 I’ll be called a skank?

As a librarian, can you just ask super politely to see their card again and then calmly take it to the paper guillotine thing and chop it into confetti? Or is that illegal? I would pay to see that done to a screaming customer.

Yeah, I’ve always had other customers look extremely guilty whenever anyone has gotten mad at me, like, “please don’t think we’re of the same ilk.”

i really hope you are a librarian in Seattle because we have the best librarians and this is the coolest thing ever

A family friend was a cop with 20 years in and decided to spend his last five years working as the security cop for the city’s main library. He had never fired his gun in uniform before. Three weeks after starting the job he ended up shooting it out toe-to-toe with a crazy person over the card catalog.

I was riding my bike the other day, stopped at a red light in the bike lane, and a mother crossing the street right in front of me said to her daughter “Watch out for bikers. They NEVER obey the law” while staring straight at me. As I was very clearly obeying every single traffic law.

Oh my god who would ever scream at a librarian?! You are known for being quiet, nice people!!! What on earth did this person think you did?