This is the most elaborate plan to fuck Gisele Bundchen since a certain so-so Michigan quarterback beat the devil in a fiddle contest.

No one on that stage gives a shit about any of this. The NFL is cumming million dollars bills this morning over this narrative playing out.

Fuck White House Access.

Winnah!

Let’s get those Apprentice tapes!

Fat Mike Tyson vs Michael Stinks with that knockdown.

Did I just wake up from a coma? I no longer speak the language. At least our politics are still sane.

Hey, be nice, that’s just how his face looks now.

Drew wins for getting to the fucking point.

Malcolm McDowell is a god damn treasure on this show.