I noticed Watson’s crooked hairline and now I can’t stop noticing it.

Alternate Fox News Headline:

Giving him that contract instead of Mike Wallace was the best move the Steelers made in a lonnng time. Dude is just the best.

That’s because we live in a flawed world.

Technically it’s G-D-A-E on any violin

Why don’t you go try to confiscate them and see what happens? Let us know how that works out.

It’s not his fault the strip club had a buffet.

Dude. You just described Deadspin.

“Which is true? The thing we saw, or the granular, artificially enhanced, retroactive display of what actually happened? And in a football game, what defines what’s true, if not the the necessarily limited and subjective knowledge of the officials who are specifically awarded the power to interpret observed actions…

THAT HAIL MARY PLAY I CALL IT THE DENTIST BECAUSE IT KILLED SOME LIONS FROM EXTREME LONG RANGE.

Browns fans wake up from three days of football-induced depression and think:

Pray Daily for the women who abort, their children, and the providers.

That second one is some found-footage horror shit.

Here were the SB Nation game thread reactions for the two teams.

.... do you lose an erection in like a fraction of a second? I don’t exactly think it takes five minutes to take a piece of paper, wrap it around your willy, and then read the number on it. Maybe 15 seconds at most?

Matt Schaub has lost his last 6 starts, meaningless in comparison to the eternal void which will consume us all. Enjoy ESPN.

Adam Schefter appears every Monday afternoon on the local ESPN affiliate in Albany, NY (104.5). Today, when asked by one of the co-hosts to give him something to be excited for in this game, Schefter summed it up by saying, “Well, it’s football.”

Their twitter account reads like Nihilist Arby’s