That's assuming he is capable of cooking whatever you've got on the list!

Yes, doing the class together makes this a great idea!

What's wrong with Simon Cowell asking for a DNA test?

Heh. My husband (well, soon-to-be-ex) has told me I read too much. He also banned me from purchasing any more books after he bought my my Kindle for Christmas several years ago. I just don't get people who don't like books. I mean, I LOVE my Kindle but there is just something about being surrounded by books that makes…

This .gif is pure gold!

Desk Ennui — hence why I'm on Jezebel from 9-5 Monday thru Friday.

They're always condescending because they have to appeal to that ONE FUCKING MORON WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE A REFRIGERATOR LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN. It is frustrating, to be sure.

One of the best days of my professional life was the day I got to re-enact that fax machine destroying scene with my own personal Fax-a-saurus.

We're required to print emails and are only allowed to keep a backlog of six months worth in our storage. I agree — I prefer to just search through email with a keyword rather than slog through paper files but hey, I work for a dude who finally upgraded us from Windows 95 two years ago! (LOVE MY JOB THOUGH!!!)

May I play?

That cat's name isn't Fork, is it? 'Cause if it is, you and I have some serious chatting to do. (It looks exactly like Fork from this angle, so I must ask. And based on your postings, you could actually be the woman who owns Fork, so I must ask again)

Which bookshelf do I use? The one packed with King and Grisham? The one with nothing but Roberts and Robb? What about the one that's packed full of conservative "non-fiction" from a decade ago (yes, "non-fiction" requires quotes)? That shelf should net me some real winners!! All I'm saying is that my books are anally…

If more people knew how to properly open a book, it might not be such an issue. I see people just cracking right in, without putting any thought into it or coaxing it open or anything.

Since I am currently trying to unload 15+ boxes of books, this is a trend I can get behind! (Does it count if I take a pic of a pile of boxes?)

I'm 35 and I know I'm not *quite* there but some days it sure feels like it!

JESUS. I'M FREAKIN' DYING. DYING!!! This is exactly what I needed today (since in addition to the superfun divorce my cat went and died on me yesterday). Thank you!

I say that at 27 you're still firmly in the "not-an-old" category!

I am positive. It is the only account I've set up. Are they all like this? I mean, it was actually kinda scary that so many people were all up in my face so fast and they didn't even have a picture or a full profile or anything.

I am newly re-entering the dating field after having been benched since about 1998. I am terrified. I recently set up an okcupid account, just for giggles to see what it was all about. Within 15 minutes of putting up a non-photo'd profile, I had LITERALLY 30 messages in my inbox. About half of them were straight up,…

Countdown County!!! The Brevard Zoo is one of the best zoos, especially for the price. They have such a wide variety of animals, it is very well maintained, there are tons of kid activities but plenty to keep an adult amused as well, and they have really put in a lot of effort over the last decade to expand and…