Right now he's thinking that being a so-so pitcher sounds pretty good

Like we're gonna believe Mientkiewicz! The guy is a well known WS winning ball stealer...

@Paul Pierced Luol's Deng: No, Kornhieser Pumpkin make-up coloring

Don't worry, they have great make-up sex...

Minor injuries to his balls?? Holy crap I....oh balls of his feet.

Making fun of Olberman and saying you hate America....

That's a lotta cock for this early in the morning....

Was that second one written by HST's half-breed cousin?

@Greg Johnson: She is someone that AJ tries to get other guys to screw

Then again, I take photos of myself for a living

@UpstateUnderdog: I thought it was his waist size?

Dan Synder just traded two first rounders for him

Okay...so what the fuck happened this weekend? I checked in at one point and it was like a holy war had started....

You see that Synder you dumb fuck?? There is a team that had a need at OL and went out and did something about it.

One of these days the O's will make the news by winning a baseball game....

@kbjone: More likely he ran over his dog once with his bike

@Afino: Better than 2 of the latter and one of the former....I think

This whole story is just awful....just awful

@Hatey McLife: +1 stash of illegal video tapes

He's so drunk that he forgot pinstripes go vertical not horizontal....