“Hey, no fair. Just because he’s a famous athlete doesn’t mean he’s entitled to baseballs over the common baseball fan like me! I should have at least one of the ones he has because when I go for baseballs I totally don’t draw attention to myself like he does. And what is he going to do with those baseballs? He’ll…

I can’t blame the fireworks technicians. Making it to the top of the 7th of a Phils game without falling asleep deserves celebratory recognition of some sort.

reciting the lines verbatim

The takes must flow!

First off, congrats to her. Second, I get this was a small tourney with 12 entrants, so the prize money reflects that, and that’s to be expected.

I said this last month:

The Kinja Gods are fickle, and they haven’t blessed me with being an approved commenter here, like they have over on Deadspin and Jalopnik.

It happens to the best of us, cementguy.

Sorry. It’s the Kwik-E-Mart. Always has been.

I needed sources of my own to speak to the biochemical makeup of male ejaculate and how it behaves when it comes in contact with water.

Tomsula now kinda looks like what Johnny Manziel will look like if he reaches Tomsula’s age.

Not as crazy as this guy:

Idea: The Indians should wear the names of all the players from Major League.

“Guys, you really should’ve labeled this ‘NSFW.”

Only one person can stop Bette Midler: George Costanza.

Girl: Daddy, the soccer men are wearing shirts that say RedTube. What’s Redtube?

Can we get a petition going to change it to Morristown?

McCain can’t seem to grasp the difference between an ongoing investigation and a closed one.

The Wildwood boardwalk was always about 3 things to me: the games/arcades (mostly Skeeball at Gateway 26), all the t-shirt stores that I’d wander around but never buy anything, and that hilarious sunuvabitch that was in the dunk tank just north of Morey’s pier that I swear was the king of heckling.