Insert “Hooker/Pie/Urine/Lemon Ice Box Pie” joke here.

Same. :)

Uh oh! I’m curious about that best man story (but of course it’s none of my business).

I got pretty shit faced at my friend’s wedding as a bridesmaid and was doing shots with the best man who I had a crush on, proceeded to throw up (he disappeared), find him, offer my number, then started hysterically crying at the rejection and then I started texting my ex co dependent best friend. After a few months…

It’s almost. like. they both did something wrong.

Well that IS a big arsed bell.

Right? My rational mind thinks it is all kinds of messed up to withhold citizenship because of a difference of opinion but my petty mind is all “hahahahahahahahhahahahaha vegans.”

I’m torn between my belief in freedom of expression and my sheer annoyance towards a certain type of vegan.

So it should be called “The Women’s March (but guys you can come just don’t try to make yourselves the center of attention, and wear a damn shirt)“. Shouldn’t that be obvious?

Jeez, lay off the Cronenberg films.

“That’s not true.”

Chuck Todd needs to explain to Seth Meyers how real journalism works. I mean, the very idea of putting a Republican operative on the spot like that, and asking, you know, real questions, and then asking follow ups, and not letting the operative get away with saying whatever Frank Luntz bumper-sticker happens to roll…

Watching Al Franken work is like watching a trebuchet. There is no violent eruption, as a gun might make; no sudden thrashing as a catapult goes through. Just the slow movement that leads to a large rock smoothly leaving the ground and being thrown a couple hundred yards through a castle wall. All quiet until the…

hidden fences made would-be neighbours.

A veteran criminal gang with 3 women and a 72 year old master counterfeiter? Can we get a show about them? They sound infinitely more interesting than the Kardashians.

I know it was an exaggeration to prove a point, but dresses? Just say all the hotels in a 20 mile radius are booked.

i wish when i lied that i was able to believe myself as well as drumpf does when he lies.

Why would all of the celebrities coming to DC purchase their dresses in the city? I mean, most of them probably live in places like NYC and LA; wouldn’t they purchase their dresses in their hometowns, and then bring them to DC? Some many questions....

Hahahaha [starts crying in disgust instead]