THIS x 1000.

Well you are just a pleasant person all around. Kisses!

Probably the worst purchases I’ve ever made, and stupidly continue to make, are DVD films. They look nice on the shelf, but I never, ever, use them.

Telling those guys to shake Trump’s hand to show respect for the office of the presidency is like telling a high school kid to shake the principal’s hand at graduation when you caught him fucking your mother sophomore year.

Asking a lawyer:

Per the 3 legged dog question:

Ah I don’t remember that one, but it sounds about right.

If I was a reporter, my follow up question (with just as much sass and a shit eating grin) would have been “What about your Bulls teams?”

The US has the largest diversity of aspiring and established professional athletes on the planet. It’s okay if we are just decent at soccer right now.

More fun to a lot of Americans, sure. But also more opportunistic. Find me another country on the planet where there are four other professional leagues that are ahead of soccer in terms of average league salary. All this to say, I’m just fine with how our boys are doing if they keep making and progressing in the…

“Five Gulf Nations” new band name I call it.

I’m ashamed to say I was listening to this live yesterday, and also came away wondering what the fuck this guy was talking about. His major point was that LeBron was suggesting he has it just as bad or worse than other African Americans who are far less privileged, when he never said anything of the sort.

It’s like her facial expression said it all, and then she opened her mouth to confirm what we all think. A+ work.    

I scrolled down with the smallest hope of being the first to say the same. I should have known better.

As someone who has worked in a busy restaurant and has gotten this request many many times, context doesn’t always clarify. I might be sweating my ass off and you might be sitting a little too close to a vent.

If someone asks to turn the AC up, then you make the room colder.

This is simultaneously something I would do and what I think I would look like doing it while drunk.

Nah, man

St. Totteringham’s day should have been mentioned prior to this weekend, yes, but as awesome as Spurs have been all year and Kane in particular this week, it didn’t mean anything. It’s ok to say that.