I don’t know if he ever actually played the role before, but in my mind’s eye, John Henry always looked like Michael Clarke Duncan.

Let me get to it first:

Could be worse, could be a queen wasp crawled behind a vent for a place to hibernate for the winter. Imagine spending winter wondering if it was gone, or building a freakishly huge nest for its swarm, or if the blower would just randomly shoot it out into your face?

The greatest thing my psychiatrist told me was stop being an asshole to people, and it’ll help you stop being an asshole to yourself.

Not the greatest lesson on sympathy, but at least I no longer felt guilty about telling my bipolar sister to stop telling me (a chick w/ MDD) that I was getting fat.

Yup.

If Chad, Bret, Tyler, Travis, Chip, Tad, Scott and all the other dude bros are having a tough week or two that’s just too fucking bad. These fuckers felt that the pendulum swung towards people of color and women too much the last few years and decided to elect an incompetent white doofus to make themselves feel…

Why can’t we star stories anymore? I don’t have anything of value to add, but I’d like you to know I liked this. 

“Well, it’s a tough thing going on. If you can be an exemplary person for 35 years, and then somebody comes and they say you did this or that,...

You are a no-hit wonder.

He’s most likely going to be put in ‘Protective Custody’ which means solitary 22 hours a day. I know there’s lots of folks who are willing to wring their hands and protest that, but i’m not one of them.

i’m going to burn a pair of these on facebook, and just assume that anyone watching it will implode:

“I’ve known all along your name wasn’t really Emilio Juarez, you vile Russian agent!!”

He didn’t. Cold, white, melts under pressure = snowflake.

Oh here come the #NotAllWhitePeople comments.

In the 80s, when blacks discussed racism, whites always said the only color I see is green.

That’s the scary part to me because I have a feeling that the military and police have more than a few white supremacist sympathizers in them. They go and get the training and then use it against us..

I’ve trained several dogs by disciplining them with random German phrases. Zum Beispiel, when I would catch a dog jumping on a piece of furniture s/he wasn’t allowed on, I’d bark out something like “Ich liebe dich von ganzem Herzen!” They’d jump down immediately and retreat to the crate. The phrase means “I love you…

It’s fucking ridiculous the number of times I’ve heard white people say, “Black people need to pull their pants up and get an education and stop having kids and stop committing crimes” and I’m like “You’re literally speaking to a black man who’s a college-educated, child-free full-time manager at a nonprofit, and I…