But I don’t want land,
I just want…
…to sing

Look at him. Look at his fauxhawk and squinty little Irish eyes. Look at him standing in front of the Bean. How can you not hate him and his tiny dick?

B-b-but he had a killer opening line about just moving from San Fransisco. What Midwest rube wouldn’t immediately get wet for his clearly endless stories about what a favor he is granting to this hick so-called “city” by his learned presence?

I’m curious on that as well. I doubt you could find a 4 dollar budweiser in most of the Bay area.

What, you don’t want that guy mansplaining sex positivity to you?

As a current resident of Chicago and a former resident of NYC, I will say that NYC has a special level of not giving a shit about you that is both incredibly liberating and terrifyingly depressing. If this guy feels like Chicago didn’t love him, he’s only going deeper into the circles of Hell moving to NYC.

Yeah, I don’t know who he is, but one look at that getup coming at me, and I know all I need to.

Looks like someone had fun with the Saints Row Create-a-character mode!

“But it’s the midwest! My small trust fund should allow me to buy vast tracts of land!”

How could the city not fall in love with him? Look at how unique and interesting he is!

Seriously, where was he getting a four dollar Lagunitas in San Francisco? Nowhere, that’s where.

He’s from San Francisco, he’s moving to New York, and Chicago is somehow too expensive for him. Does this fool know how to count?

He was complaining that Chicago is expensive. He’s from San Francisco, for god’s sake. That alone made me realize how full of shit he is.

I’ve never heard of this guy before, and I’m definitely not going to look him up now. But gosh dang Katie, this write-up tells me everything about this guy, and that’s that he’s a douche canoe. The perfect snarky article to end my last day off before work tomorrow.

I was referring to the Update. Do the police have any evidence to back that story up? Did they do an actual investigation, or did they just ask the driver what happened? There’s a witness in the hospital. What did that person have to say about what happened? None of these were addressed in the Update.

There’s video all over the internet now of the incident. The driver could have gone around the candlelight vigil on a street blocked by the police like other drivers were able to do. He had other means to move freely and choose to drive through a candlelight vigil. Inconvenience and frustration is not justification…

Police also claimed the Charlottesville killer was “just scared,” before footage surfaced of him flying through two empty blocks to hit the protestors.

God that annoys me to no end. Yea, I get it, it’s annoying when the streets are closed. Why, just the other day I had to sit in traffic for 45 minutes because of an accident. You know what I did? Was patient and found another route. You know what I didn’t do? Use my car to ram my way through the jam screaming that I…

The street was blocked off by police. What was he doing driving on it?

Kind of torn on this based on current reporting and the video from What-would-kosh-do’s link elsewhere in the comments. On the one hand, incredibly stupid move by Mercedes Guy. Like, you saw those people. What did you think was going to happen, driving into the middle of a protest like that? 100%, your car was going…