What if the ham sandwich is drenched in mayo?

Why did Omarosa take a picture with Jigsaw’s puppet, though.

Trick question: The real answer is, “My Nightmare.”

Given the world we live in, just be glad it’s not “Under Secretary of State for Arms Control and International Security Affairs Charlie Weis Jr”

I’ll never forget what they did to Max Cleland. Here is a man who put his money where his mouth is and actually served, unlike pretty much the entire Republican delegation on the House and Senate, and they had the gall to say he hated the US and didn’t serve to their liking.

“a black mother whose child forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer”

Why didn’t she simply walk out? Why did she blow him? This is clearly a consensual sexual encounter she later regretted. “I didn’t really want to do it, but I did anyway” is not sexual misconduct.

“I say ‘mostly’ heterosexual because I do find women attractive. I love looking at big titties and big asses, but for the life of me, I cannot get into vaginas. So there’s that.”

Biracial, bossy bottom, at your service. Loves to cook, has a couple graduate degrees, and is loved by moms the world over. Does. Not. Play. Games.

As soon as you accept that first shot, you’re agreeing to take a trip down the road to white boy wasted that only ends with you sitting at your desk the next morning wearing Ray Bans indoors, guzzling a Pedialyte, and trying to ignore Ryan when he says, “Hey brah, I’m sorry if things got a little crazy last night.…

NC District 9 looks a bit like Hedorah.

This. I wish more people would understand this about McCain. If there is nothing else consistent about him, it’s his rank pettiness. He did it with Dubya after Dubya beat him in the 2000 primaries. He did it to Obama after Obama beat him in the 2008 general. The single greatest defining characteristic of John McCain…

He didn’t just call his wife ugly, but then insinuated that his dad killed Kennedy. He punked the ever-loving-hell out of Ted Cruz.

After watching the video and listening to the song, I guess JT wanted to steal from Bowie too. It’s so hard to be original when you’re so contrived.

Luca gave me Jaden Smith vibes.

Please allow this tiny adjustment to the last sentence in your very first paragraph: “Seriously, why is King Keebler the Attorney General of the United States so hell-bent on taking the good herb away from the people?”

Fun Fact about “Freeform”, formally ABC Family, formally a bunch of other names, including Fox Family at one point. The network started out as CBN Satellite, owned by Pat Robinson.

If you want to really flip them out, demand only Beethoven. And Brahms.

Ump: Inside corner, strike three! You’re out!

No, mostly because when Netflix finds out that you’re black, it’s a real trial to get your recs right again.