You look absolutely gorgeous and there is NOTHING better than bailing on plans.

And I’ve debated Rachel Maddow and won.

Beautiful that there’s a link at the end of this to the interview proving he absolutely did NOT “debate Rachel Maddow and” WIN.

Can I keep you?

she’s my only role model

Dude, half-assedly do Weight Watchers and do Zumba... more to dance around like a fool and de-stress than anything else, if you want a human approach to it. Or don’t. Or just eat the fucking muffin. Yes, you ideally “only get married once”, but I counter-argue that you’re not going to be on your deathbed like, “I’m SO…

After Bad Blood I think I hit my Taylor Swift limit. I was meh about her and then that video came out. It’s like the Michael Bay of all music videos - chock full of cameos, unnecessary explosions, fancy CGI, and yet absolutely no point.

Based on the sample images you’ve graced us with (thank you Anna), Michele could only come up with 11 stupid things to say about guns? She had to call ted Nugent for the 12th?

Sooooo......a pair of underwear that is in close proximity to <that what shall not be named> remains forever unclean. Does this mean that the penises that presumably enter said taboo spot also remain forever unclean?

I suggest he volunteers for a new space program I’ve just now decided to fund, where we tie him to a rocket, and then send it to the fucking sun.

I was having a “discussion” with someone about sending astronauts to mars. He stated the first team should be all male, to prevent “space babies”.

Can we just agree that sex shouldn’t even factor into it? “Men’s work” and “Women’s work” is a silly concept. Sometimes the man will be better at repairing the house or fixing the car, and sometimes the woman will be. Sometimes the woman will be better at cooking and cleaning and sometimes the man will be. But setting…

I’m with you so much. Can we all just agree that this whole genre of “men suck at domestic things” is just fucking awful. Like, I am a man. I also like to make sure the kitchen is reasonably clean, and years of living without a dishwasher means I’m 100% okay with washing dishes on my own.

You guys have to help me figure out this dating thing, cause I have no idea what I am doing.

I haven’t posted in forever and a day.

I try to avoid buying any of my favorite candies, that way I’m not tempted to keep any for myself. I don’t need extra sugar, even though I love candy.

When my niece was four we dressed her up like a cowgirl for Halloween — yeehaw!

Frustrating weekend so far. I have a book on hold at the library but due to a variety of dumb circumstances I was late both yesterday and today, and ended up staring dumbly at the locked library doors both times. I really want to read that fucking book, and I was so excited when I got the call from the library.

I saw a guy I have a little crush on recently, after not seeing him for about a year. He gave me a weird look but I didn’t think much of it. Until right now, when I realized how much thinner I was last time I saw him. You guys, I’ve gained about 40 pounds in a year.

I’m early to the party but have nothing interesting to say... dog’s sick so I’ll skip trick or treating to be with her, nad my husband will take the kids. Spent the afternoon in a much needed cleaning/tidying up frenzy. Sometimes I think I’m just not cut out for this whole adulting thing... Now I think a margarita and…