His Monopoly-obsessed parents already used “Community Chest” for his older brother?

Yeah, my parents tell me I matured out my destructive phase when I was about two or two-and-a-half years old. I was too young to remember. 

Not clicking on that video

“I’d rather spend my money on art now.”

Jimmy? Is that you?

“845-horsepower, 7,000-pound refrigerator on wheels.”

Also:

It’s hard overstate how psychologically damaged you have to be to impersonate a cop.

“its predecessor the 626"

How unfortunate.

Something something messed around and are finding out. Sounds a lot like what’s going to happen over the next few years.

I want to feel sympathy for these people. I want to be a good person and look past our differences, acknowledging that everyone has different tastes and that’s okay. But...

Maybe don’t buy a rolling trollmobile and this wouldn’t happen.

I always wonder what would have happened with these cars if the economy didn’t crash in 2008.

Yeah, you really can’t run standard TCP/IP protocols over those distances at all, actually.  Maybe we’ll bring back UUCP (just dated myself there)...

Originally, Dodge’s plan was to introduce the all-electric Charger Daytona First Editions first, followed by the Sixpack in the first quarter of 2025. Not long after, the Sixpack launch was punished back to late 2025

Your idea of cool and my idea of cool are evidently very, very, very different.

Drink bleach, you fascist-simping fuckstain.

Donald Trump was not elected the editor of Jalopnik. I hope this helps. 

i ain’t reading all that
i’m happy for u tho
or sorry that happened