Sometimes I pick my nose in traffic.

Well, you touch on a wicked important distinction; live logging road vs “abandoned” logging road.

The hitch ball is capable of carrying a lot of weight, but not when it’s delivered as a rapid blast like this. Like all aspects of off-roading, speed is the mother of destruction and if you’re not completely sure of what you’re doing I’d recommend you move as slow as possible, as fast as necessary.

But you do get that she was a human being, right Dwight?

It’s good. It’s great, in fact. But can we at least acknowledge these frankly outstanding runner’s up?

You’ve not spent much time around heavy industry, like logging, have you?

If you have one cubic foot of storage space and you add another half, boosting it to a cubic foot and a half of storage space, that’s significant.

That. Was. Hilarious.

You got lucky in the extreme. Incidents with similar ingredients tend to end with someone dead or vegetative.

My family is so hip, we moved out of our Type 2 into a Subaru Loyale while Outbacks were still new!

I’ve seen that, too. This is why active roads tend to have a one-way flow. Empty trucks come in one way, loaded trucks leave another. Pretty common here in active (clear) cuts.

Interesting you should mention it. There’s a bit of a saying that goes with off-roading up the logging roads around here and it goes like this; if you break down in the middle of a corner, forget it.

Your estimation of the additional cargo capacity is something I find sexually stimulating. If this is something you do often, seeing something small and imagine it being much larger, we should talk.

See? That’s the problem.

You’re absolutely right. I’m a married man with a kid, I drive a Mustang. I’d happily swap in to either, but shockingly, lean towards the ATS more. Still a hard call though. If I were looking ATS-V, then yeah. I’m not, probably never will though, so...

Don’t you try and fool me, eh? My Canadian buddy is an Aussie transplant, he’s gone full Oz and he told me about your drop bears. Sounds a lot like our dogsleds or igloos. Sorry, just no.

I can hear the pitch.

Fair point, though I dare say the convention of adding a shooting break top didn’t continue leading me to think that maybe, yeah, adding a top was the biggest part of it, but the engineers sneaking in that top had deeper implications than just not having a rag top.

I think you’re right. The do-it-all package sedan is becoming less and less common. You want RWD and a stick? There’s an app for that. You want four doors and comfortable fuel economy? There’s an app for that. You want both? THERE’S NO APP FOR THAT!