Even a rapist has to draw the line somewhere.

The best part is that it took that melted Glade candle TWO HOURS to come up with his comeback about how long it took Hillary to respond. This has been killing me all evening, y'all.

No.

Margaret Atwood.

Thank you. Not “relationship,” either. Predatory behavior and grooming. And fuck that fucking family.

Not “sex.”

I was about to say, “I DO!” but then realized that I’m not under 30.

Not that I’m ever in the business of trusting men in power, but i think it’s important to note that Kirkman left the following comment on Peck’s article:

Local NPR station (God bless Jason Bentley) just played “when doves cry” follow by “let’s go crazy” FUCK YES. I am crying and jamming out at the same time.

Aaaaand here’s a star for that Star Wars reference...especially since Ballaban hates Star Wars.

That car went under like an X-Wing at Degobah.

it was an accident, something about Porkins not able to pull out in time...

Her father is clearly Porkins.

If you’re any age and don’t use emoji in your (casual) communication, then I don’t trust you.

You must be fun at parties.

Seeing how different platforms interpret emoji, I think we need to develop a universal standard for emoji.

please god make them add a crossed fingers emoji.

Can you imagine this flabby orange oaf lying on top of you, sweating, arrhythmically thrusting for three minutes, until he rolls off you, inadvertently scratching you with his oversize, gold Rolex and you notice he never took his black socks off?

It’s a good thing my dog is going to live forever and I won’t have to go through this.