he made it easy being the only one pictured wearing socks!

found him

I once spoke at a Career Day where my sister taught middle school. When I walked into that building, the stench.. OMG, it was something I’d never experienced.

I can’t even wrap my head around why people want to have one child. And I have two of them!

I know the answer is likely religion, but I can’t quite wrap my head around why people would want to have 14 children. My family had four and it was a mess of scheduling, meal planning, laundry, etc. This would be my nightmare.

Mom, can I wear a white batsuit out in public? All the time out in public?

If I had to listen to Jaden Smith for more than 30 seconds, I’d want him out of my house too.

Jaden: “Mom, how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real?”

Jada: “you’re ready to move out of my house”

He died in a duel with his brother Lyle, I assume.

Happy families are all alike. Every fucked-up family is fucked-up in its own way.

OR she was a narcissist only interested in her own interests at any given time and her kids understood this having had to deal with her. And she moved back because her kids in Cali couldn’t stand her and she thought she could emotionally blackmail the old set of kids into dealing with her. They tried to reconcile,…

That whole obit is a Minnesota euphemism for “she was a feckless cunt”.

That was pretty overtly hostile for Minnesotans. Typically it would read something like: “Ethel heard that she got pregnant from her brother-in-law and moved to California but don’t you know her kids Gina and Jay didn’t go with her! It’s not our place to judge but something’s not right about that.”

This is proof to me that Pruitt is the worst type of cheapskate. He is shockingly cheap when it comes to his own money but is fine spending the American people’s money by the millions.

Melania was always Ivanka sitting on Jared’s shoulders in a trench coat and sunglasses.

A used mattress from a Trump hotel.

It’s too bad there’s no way to retroactively award John Goodman an Emmy for the first season of Treme. That’s the Emmy he deserves.

Counter argument: the sofa has always been the best character on the show. A close second, the kitchen table.

Dan and Jackie were ALWAYS the best characters on the show

Your faith in American justice is adorable.

“On behalf of the entire crew, it has been a pleasure serving you today and we are looking forward to see you in one of our future flights. We do realize that you have a choice when you fly, and we thank you for making us number 1.”