I have it on good authority that she will fucking kill it, and our heads will explode as we scream “I CAN’T.” because we just can’t.

This article specifically is about someone who is using psychological coercion to break down a woman’s resistance to having intercourse with him. She specifies that she was not forced physically, if I recall properly. So, your analysis does not apply here. Saying that’s OK to punch people who try to attack you is not…

rare indeed. looking back myself, I’ve had similar experiences as well, where my “lawyer brain” would say of course it’s “not-rape”, because...xyz. But...I certainly wasn’t an enthusiastic participant in the process at the time. Which is different than “regretting it afterwards”, for anyone who is confused.

Great comment which was missing from this conversation! She said no! So many people have probably saved themselves from a more violent rape by not fighting back. I think we know instinctively what is safe to do and what isn’t. Freezing is a survival mechanism. We have no control over what our bodies do when faced with…

I refuse to give out my number and won’t say why

Thank you SO MUCH for articulating this idea better than I ever could. I’ve been too afraid to express some of my thoughts on here, because I don’t want to be pilloried, but I think the feminist community would benefit greatly from acknowledging that as much as we would like consent to be a straight black-and-white…

“All sex should be wanted sex, and just because this sex wasn’t really illegal doesn’t make it okay,”

Rape is sex without consent. The fact that maybe you could have done something to stop it but didn’t doesn’t render non-consensual sex consensual. You are free to frame your own personal experiences in whatever terminology and emotional context feels best for you, but that doesn’t change what rape or consent mean.

She clearly and directly said no many times. At no point did she say yes or initiate sexual contact, thereby demonstrating she’d changed her mind and was consenting. The problem with saying this isn’t rape is it implicitly means that no number of no’s is ever enough to render it non-consensual if your natural reaction…

This has happened to me and he was a good friend up until that night. I also don’t consider it rape, per se, but I was coerced and I have not spoken to him since. He lost my trust and was not the friend he was supposed to be.

It’s interesting for me to hear that side of it, because the fact is, I’m VERY assertive and have been all my life, thanks to my specific personality and a pair of attorney parents who valued that very highly in me. I thrive on confrontation, I’m very communicative, I say no with absolute glee most of the time. I get…

Yes. Reading this made me think the exact same thing: almost everyone I know has a story like this. I agree, the answer is to teach women and men how to navigate active consent. Even more, teach women from an early age it’s okay to be assertive, it’s okay to say no. Even as a woman in my early 30's, I am very much…

This is what’s sad for me - there are women who haven’t had these kinds of experiences but I have. Once I was with friends and we were talking about rape and I said “I kind of sort of was. Not really” and they just stared at me. So I talked about the situation. An abusive boyfriend had a key to my apartment. I went…

If there is a woman alive who has not had this experience, I’d like to meet her, because she is a rare, rare creature. I’m so grateful to you for sharing your story and elaborating on the complexity of consent. So many people want to make it a black-and-white, yes-or-no issue, and the more people who stand up and say…

Damn Hillary, YOU DONE IT AGAIN

She forgets sometimes. It’s hard to keep playing the role of Democrat, when in your heart you’re really a centrist Republican.

a) i feel like i remember him saying already that yes, he would probably have to raise taxes slightly for everyone?

*hillary has difficulty winning the left flank of the democratic party*

For everyone who has the vague feeling you’re being lied to:

Right?! What’s going on? I also taught there for three years as a grad student. I’m genuinely concerned for the students.