“Ponder this...what great marriages have is sexual variety! Period! It’s not the equal burden-sharing at home trend, it’s not the fidelity trend. Find someone that is going to let me have unprotected, random sex! Period! #monogamysucks!”

“My fiancée has informed me that sheez letting me go. #thankstwitter!”

“! Period!” is a pretty damn confusing string of text.

I certainly don’t think there’s any excuse for choking a pregnant woman. But someone had to step in and stop Mrs. Rivers already.

The egregious freeze out of Green Man on the Philadelphia mascot scene continues.

I don’t have an escalator.

I used to poop on escalators. I still do, but I used to too.

An escalator can never break. It can only become a toilet.

Apple, or Blanket, or Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

Coronas? They shoulda been drinking Rolling Rocks, eh

Lamar Jackson Is Way More Fun Than Joe Flacco

You read from an odd position. 

I think Malcolm Gladwell would argue that since there are birds in Nigeria, Larry Bird is actually on the Nigerian team.

I’ve always fallen more on the savory side

just a disaster of a comment from start to finish

It held Brock Osweiler to 139 yards on 15 completions

To dissuade you from moving from Cali (I’ve visited, it’s nice as long as you don’t have to pay rent), allow me to post this story from one of the previous WYTS entries:

Florida Man, Florida Man, made himself a MAGA van.

Donate my penis to Virginia McCaskey, so the old broad can get fucked and die already.

I just wish he would talk about himself in the third-person.

How dare you call a team that hasn’t had a real coach implemented in a year directionless!