Wouldn’t that require some sort of Missouri Compromise?

“Also I live in Kansas City now so I could easily just root for the Chiefs, but I enjoy being let down and fucked over.”

Prince was one of my favorite players in baseball. And I'm a Cardinals fan. I used to hate those Brewers teams, I still can't stand Ryan Braun, but I respected the shit out of Fielder. He was a fearsome slugger and a better defensive 1B than most people give him credit. To me, what I liked the most was that he played…

It worked for my friend, and he’s a pharmacist. Do you think their testing is subpar? It’s come a long way since the days of terminador gold.

The sad part, to me at least, is how easy it is to pass a drug test. There are a BUNCH of products out there for that purpose. I’ve managed a head shop for the better part of a decade and that’s a decent chunk of our sales. It's just sad to see someone that talented lose that much money on something so easily avoided.

I would say “stay home, Missouri doesn’t want you here,” but I actually live in the state. A decent amount of people actually do want you here.

Now that you’ve said this, I can’t stop imagining Blake referring to himself in the third person.

Couldn’t we just call three 20s an “instant kill?”

Is it just me, or does the sunglasses trench coat combo make him look like a really shitty Christoph Waltz impersonator?

If he appeals a NFL executive should show up with a bat.

Brief list of people/things ODB feels threatened by:

Ball is in parking lot. Would you like to play again? You have selected, “No.”

As a Chiefs fan I feel like this list should include Husain Abdullah.

Gotta ask, why gut punch over nut punch?

Considering the last time a BYU player punched an opponent, Taylor should be happy how high that punch was.

You are very welcome, my good sir.

This probably messed up Goodell’s secret DFS picks.

Atlas truther.

You, my good sir, are a god amongst Kinja commenters.