Bruce, I see your keys and eyeglasses are tethered to yourself, you’re a practical, organized man. And at 6'3", you’re a tall man. And by identifying the mid-life crisis car trope, you know whats what.

How is the Porsche Cayenne not on here?

Midlife crisis requirement 1: Be Porsche or Corvette - Check
Midlife crisis requirement 2: Be fun to drive and flashy - Check
Bruce Requirements: Haul and Tow?

The Cayenne can pull 7700 lbs, Is available with a stick even if he wanted it, is a blast to drive, is flashy, has plenty…

I’m too lazy to look it up, but have prices of the first-gen Ford SVT Raptor managed to fall into your budget? If you could manage not to drive it like an a**hole—unlike pretty much everyone I’ve seen driving it—it wouldn’t be a bad choice. It’s plenty quick, and has more than enough payload and towing capacity for…

YES. I HAVE BROKEN PATRICK GEORGE AND I WILL BREAK THE REST OF YOU.

The Blue Door pub in Minneapolis. Three locations with the best burgers ever to exist. I’ll fight anyone over it.

There is one car guy who comes to mind. He was really a DIY mechanic by necessity; his family didn’t have a lot of money, so whenever something broke, he was the one who fixed it. Appliances, plumbing, electrical, cars, whatever. He inherited a ‘49 Buick Super Eight from a family friend, and that became his project,…

I once had a date with someone I figured was going to be less than pleasant to hang out with, but I said I’d go so I went to pick her up as planned. In my red NC Miata.

This sets up the possibility that Bryant suffers a career-ending injury if he takes a knee during the anthem.

Fair enough Alex... just use that same line when you’re on the road.

If you can’t handle the noise at home, what does that say about being able to do the same when you’re the visiting team?

I cannot reveal anything about future cars that are years out. I can only say what we said in the past: we developed the Elmiraj to develop the passion and emotion of the brand. I can’t deny the appeal, but timing is everything. Elmiraj on the road today would have such a price tag so far from the current portfolio…

For some reason I don’t feel like blaming the loss on the only guy who scored points for his team yesterday.

The real sin is hearing tons of Bostonians pronounce “carport.”

Can we talk about how heinous those grey, sleeved Bulls uniforms are? Holy fucking god. Whoever designed those needs to be beaten with a sack of dead frogs.

Unlike Dirk, Lions fans won’t be rejected by the rim.

Nobody should be worried; he’s apparently not very good at dishing out payback.

This is $1,114.71 CANADIAN which is $802.60 USD.

Hard to say for sure, but I thought it was 5 on 1 and 2 on the other.

It’s not enough that Kirk Cousins took RG3’s job, now he’s rubbing it in by taking bad knees as well?

A power drill.