He reportedly told his mother that if she had a problem, she could meet him in Temecula 

I have had partners that whine, “but it just doesn’t feeeel as good” and what I hear every time is “your safety doesn’t matter to my boner.”

There’s no way you’re going to win an argument with someone who convinced a teenager to not only dine out with their parents, but also order from the children’s menu. Let it go.

Yep, everyone here saying that sex with condoms is not worthwhile are obviously incredibly selfish sex partners.

Click-bait. I haven’t seen a single Democrat that said they’d vote for this cock knocker. If anything, his libertarian views would peel off more Trump voters than Democrat (He’d definitely claim the 12% of Bernie voters that thought voting for Twitler was just fine).

Lauren, can you please take over full-time for Billy? I genuinely enjoy your concise, well-written, well-thought out articles that are not the length of Hammurabi’s Code.

Every single hot taek ever should end with:

*Small violin plays for man who chose not to use a condom*

1: What the everloving fuck?

The problem is the ‘soulmate’ has made it clear he wants a sidepiece so even if he divorces his wife, he’s not going to be faithful to SMACK. You know the old saying ... When you marry your mistress you create a job vacancy.

There’s so much awesome to unpack here, but the austere of the repeated A. A. Ron is choice.

Good to see Drew avoided the clutches of BIG DEATH.

I’ve experienced a lot worse in paid, non-governmental positions.

Mourinho reminds me of Billy Martin:

truth. these seem like regular jobs. maybe it’s because only rich kids can afford the jobs that they all seem to be horrified about having to stuff envelopes or write a bunch of emails. try cleaning public toilets for minimum wage and get back to me on your “horror” stories.

fortunately, the bus they threw him under was parked

There’s a story I heard on Dana Gould’s podcast about intern orientation at the Capitol years ago, that when the elevator situation was explained, the person giving the speech told all the young ladies in the group to “Never get on an elevator with Strom Thurmond alone.” He’s dead now, but how the fuck did they have a…

Yeah, these were pretty meh stories.

The poor girl burst into tears as John Boehner was some of what an idol to her. Pretty damaging to a 16-year-old.

The real takeaway here, is that “auto gol” sounds way cooler than “own goal”.