CALL IT INTEGRA YOU COWARDS

I’d buy an issue of a Jalopzine. Each month feature reader rides and stuff in the staff's stables.

if not marching in the streets

Sweet, a phrase made up by racists to defend racism and inequality.

My issue of Sedan Zine #1 just showed up today, so I guess it’s time for me to go all in on car zines in 2020.

Jalopnik should do a car zine feature. There have to be a lot of zines out there that could use a signal boost.

A problem we have is that underleveraged companies are prime targets for vulture capitalists (like Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital). Once those parasites get a hold of the company the story is as predictable as it is frustrating.

But hey, the executives always get paid.

If they quit going to Starbucks and eating avocado toast every morning they would be just fine. They just need to get a 2nd or 3rd job and pull themselves up by their boot straps. 

- Jim ‘Herb’ Spanfeller and drives away in an Aston Martin

They look like oversized Monopoly pieces

I’m a liberal, tree hugging, granola eating environmentalist and I cant believe I’m saying this, but “I WANT A HUMMER”.

No blowjob jokes, thats low-hanging fruit.

What about a classy BJ?

I’m with you man. I don’t really even like the modern Camaro, but if this announcement doesn’t have everyone screaming for a T-top Camaro, then we’ve all lost the plot.

Agreed. This seems like the perfect time to do new model reveals, which are inevitably for cars no one is going to be able to buy for months anyway. Set up a website with tons of 360 interactive walk-throughs, so that people sitting at home can see every inch of the car. Trailer prototypes out to a few friendly…

Swapping Daimler for Fiat accomplishes what in the reliability and cost of ownership department? 

Keep it up and they’ll be the cheap way to no views

That gif never gets old.

The problem with “force people to use the tracks” is that many of the people street racing would not do well on the tracks. They think it is their god given right drive like an ass and would be instantly banned from any organized racing event. 

In a state where they just licensed a bunch of untested new drivers?