Nope. But I might have made out with the bride’s brother. Good enough.

This is kinda like that time my ex brought my ex best friend that he fucked while we were married as his date to a wedding where we were both mutual guests. But worse?

True. But mine will be seen in public with me too, worry not...

As a fat woman who gets plenty of the sex with plenty different types of people, many of whom look in a way that even thin folks consider “holy shit hot” territory, let me assure you— feeling insecure about how you look in the sack has nothing to do with weight and everything to do with patriarchally enforced…

Am I reading that correctly? 11 “sexy” judges have been killed?

I’m from Mexico and I wouldn’t want to go to Tijuana or Ciudad Juarez at all.

Nfinger was my least favorite Bond movie.

The banhammer is gone, but your repetitive Donald Trump jokes are making me consider bringing it back.

90% sure Chrissy is voting for Hillary and would’ve stayed if her hubby hadn’t thrown a fit.

“I don’t want to hear that. We wanted to have a good night without distractions with the politics,” said Bryon Nfinger.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that there is an intersection of Amy Schumer fans and Trump voters.

BOBBY WHO THE FUCK IS

NZT-48.

There are days I wish I could have some of what allows her to be completely divorced from reality. And seemingly still functioning.

If one more person asks why these women are just coming out now, I am going to take a huge period shit in their mouth.

If I had the tapes I would make copies and just leave them on park benches throughout New York how would anyone ever know you did it? Especially if you wore a disguise.

If there is audio/video of him making lewd and insulting comments about a Kardashian, the internet may implode.

THIS. And why is no one in the biased liberal media asking the two most pertinent questions?

I am 32. I consider myself a strong ass woman. Not a victim. NEVER a victim. But what is shocking, and humbling about this entire election is the fact that other women are speaking out about things that I have just accepted in my life as part of being a woman, and that I’ve forgotten about until now. I truly forgot…