Always been my favorite.

No.

This is a cool little hatch, but it’s only worth about $5,250.

Much cooler:

People always forget that Yoga is a religious ritual of worship.

Those miles. That price. You could never drive it.

I’m hoping you weren’t driving this thing on a public road, putting other people in danger.

300K miles or 1000 infidels, whichever comes first.

Unless they have an atrocious laugh, a toothless grin or dance like Elaine Bennes—then by all means, fuck with them.

Other employees who bend over backwards to kiss ass, make other people money, stab you in the back for what are truly imaginary gains, and get all sweaty and harried to show they work harder than everyone else...

Analytics have revealed that ownership doesn’t have to pony up for giant contracts to win.

I love reefer. But, sadly, he’s right. There’s really ZERO, empirical evidence that weed is an effective medicine—other than stoning you out so you don’t care that your Lyme’s is eating away your joints, there’s no scientific evidence it’s effective.

Oh c’mon, it’s clearly play.  And little Pappy loves it.

Try the veal.

Whatever. Given the choice between my dog and 90% of all humans I know, I choose my dog. Every. Time.

Good winter tires absolutely make a difference.

Boring as fuck. 

The real hilarity is that people think Meg is a Republican. 

Nope. Sorry. Fuck her. Too many of my homies went down for shit, off a ADA that want to make they bones.