and bomb Oklahoma City if he were ever to visit.

This reminds me of the time when John Lennon was asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the world and he responded that he wasn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles... that person was Zlatan.

I’ll mark you down for a 2 on that one.

{cite:City Park, men’s washroom, farthest stall from the door, Saturday May 26, 1979}

Your mom ain’t bad for an old broad.

Was it glorious?

I got sucked through a toilet hole once.

I mean, maybe it would help if they come up a few inches short of a winning TD again.

As a United supporter, I’m heartened by the timing of this article. As all longtime Billy readers know, the appearance of a “Club X in Crisis!” piece is a dependable predictor of future success for the club in question. #GGMU. #whatisabicyclekickagain?

As with bullfighting, always cheer for the bulls.

Nah, he’s just an idiot.

I think most Deadspin readers would agree that Luis is the resident soccer knower, and Haisley is the resident soccer idiot

I thought Haisley was the resident soccer idiot?

If these walls could talk; you’d probably hate their accent.

I feel like Billy is the struggling cousin we all root for but who just can’t get his shit together. 

I hope she gets traded to Portland so that every Thorn has its Rose.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of…

You also can’t get mad at the lions for eating you if you jump in their cage.

This is a bike.