well duh. that’s why you don’t being a knife to a gun fight...

And wearing trousers! Shameless hussy!

Not to mention a significant amount of time afterwards in a cold shower and self-flagellating...

Careful, Mike. Mother’s going to get the vapors standing next to two such strapping young lads...

Maybe she just had a birthday and was approaching the expiration date...

“pegged vaguely to butt stuff”

Fresh shipment of Romanian virgin blood.

Swallows probably picked them up and flew off with them.

Well, duh, it’s a Chinese hoax and we’re having a kerfuffle with them right now, so no reason to legitimize it....

I don’t have anything to add, so I’ll just post this about the ongoing border war between the Canadians and Danes.

Nah, she’s aged out of his criteria

Your Google-fu is strong, $kaycog-san.

Leviathan? Behemoth?

Hey now, Foghorn could turn a phrase:

They even have an official emoji for it:

Agreed, I would include affordability in “access.” It’s ironic that for me, living in a major metropolitan area, I’m only a phone call or Craigslist ad away from a freezer of high quality meat. Versus the rural agricultural area where I grew up is dominated by cheap grocery store industrial food...