YES!! Thank you so much, and also, that is BEAUTIFUL and elegant shading.

A million stars for ‘struggle beef.’

Exactly! You can get all tingle pants but still tell yourself “eh, he probably hates Mexican food” and get back to work.

Someone tell Khia to sit down.

His response when Michael Jordan criticized his golf skills was impressive:

That man throws more shade with a smile and a laugh than the whole fucking redwood forest.

I truly hope this is the beginning of the “I Don’t Even Give A Fuck Anymore Tour” from the Obama family because, seriously, they deserve it.

I am so pleased you have finally given some airtime to our President, whose mastery of shade is as impressive as his mastery of the constitution. I would like to formally request an all-Obama session as he nears the end of his tenure. (Note I am assuming there will continue to be so much misuse of the word that the…

My reactions today: The Supreme Court delivers an opinion vouchsafing my right to get married to the spouse of my choosing? Whatever. Shade Court opinions due out? YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSS. (Whatever, I stand by my priorities)

Flaws are what make crushes safe for us marrieds.

Ok John Oliver is the bestest, that’s totally understandable.

I suggested a app called (this name is up for revision) “Tinder for couples to find other couples not for kinky stuff but just cool other couples to hang out with because we need some mutual friends who live in this city”

As a married man in his 30’s, I find I get the most excited about new fun couples that my wife and I have lots in common with, and seem genuinely fun to hang out with.

reading the synopsis i was like ‘hipster nonsense’ but the trailer looks really cute, and like hello haaaaaaay pointed out- so many good people!

yay for Alison Brie

I’ve heard from multiple sources “I can’t knock up a pregnant chick” /vom

Yeah, guys will still push past “I’m engaged/married”, but if they are gross they will definitely not notice your ring. They are looking at other parts of you .

I think it might be not noticing yes. Almost every time someone has done the hey baby thing and I have flashed my wedding ring and said “sorry married” they have stopped and usually apologized. In the countless times I’ve flashed the ring only one guy persisted afterwards. I think the strangest thing is the apology.…

A wedding band (plus engagement ring) doesn’t work either. On two different occasions after I got married, when I had to tell men to leave me alone because I was married they said, “You’re not wearing a ring.” Yes, I was! Two of them, in fact. I wanted to say, “Would you have noticed if I wore them through my nose?”