Like a LR needs any help leaking. 

If I went to get chicken wings and *didn’t* see black folk dining I would ask to be seated at a better restaurant.

Hot gatorade rules. I’ve considered packing a thermos of it when I go snowboarding, the only thing stopping me is the though of landing on my thermos when I eat shit.

I’m getting a vasectomy this week and wanted my wife to get a Popeye’s sandwich for me when the Atavan wears off. Now I’m a little worried.

Quoting the esteemed Dr. David Thorpe ain’t even fair. That guy wrote one of the greatest insult-blogs of all time. 

That’s more of a curse than an insult.

Yeah, just reading that gave me the meat sweats and made me drowsy. I always screw myself over eating things like this for breakfast or lunch when I’m traveling, and then I’m uncomfortable and not hungry again until late evening so I have to pass on other things I wanted to eat. And I’ll never stop.

Yeah, it’s cool. Too bad the biggest blindspot problem I have is with the rear view mirror blocking visibility to 1:00 unless I can lower the drivers seat way down or slouch. #longtorsoproblems

You’re defending the ads that management bigly over-promised, and then forced to autoplay as obnoxiously as possible to try to claw back impressions to the extreme annoyance of anyone who happened to try to view the site? The ones that made the reader/customer experience terrible? Goddamn your brain is garbage. 

Mr Bootlicker,
Solidarity doesn’t guarantee workers victory, it only gives them the opportunity to push back against the powerful. The writers and editors who stood up for Deadspin put their jobs on the line for their project, for their principles and for us, the readers. They lost their livelyhoods, but Deadspin will …

In before the outrage over ‘juiced’ cups and performance enhancing butt pads.

Idk, Esther’s GMG Union profile pic is pretty unambiguous. 

Does this mean that her campaign will be sending me more or fewer emails begging for cash than the 3-a-day I’m getting now?

25- or 40- man roster?

Chalky, but satisfying.

Are the butts really better, or do they just put on a better show when they line up and bend over for every play? 

Yeah, but still this provides an entry point for my fanfic where James Bond comes to Gotham City and he and Batman fall in love.

IDK, man. I’ve never tested dog pee but cat piss from the 741 stray toms in my neighborhood has fucked up the paint and rusted my metal security door. 

I mean, she only won the popular vote... But I hear ya, the demo she really ‘activated’ was white women with non-Mrs. college degrees, and they were totally outweighed by terrified Fox News zombies.

Who the fuck is talking about Klobauchar?