This is something I've been trying to focus on. It has been disorienting, but it's also been nice.

You might be right about the dating. That's kind of what I've been afraid of. I've worried that I'm not necessarily able to be fair to the guys I've been meeting.

I think it's because I don't have to worry that the strangers are sugarcoating things or taking my side out of deference to me and quite apart from the particulars of the case. I posted this morning because I thought that I could get unbiased advice.

I'll keep you updated on my own progress. And I understand exactly what you mean - it's a rare thing to find myself where and with whom I want to be. I'm either alone and want to be around other people or with someone and want to be alone.

Thank you. I have tried to focus more on myself. I'm not sure how successful I've been at it, but still. And part of my impetus to stop hating the new guy is to stop giving him that power in my life. I'll try your strategy. It's certainly better than anything I've tried yet. Which is pretty much nothing.

Thank you, Mr Monster. You should have your own syndicated advice column. Certainly, receiving advice from a beloved childhood icon automatically makes one more receptive to it.

I've been trying to focus on using this as an opportunity to learn about myself and grow. And, god do I hate growing experiences. But I want to come out of this a better person. Sure, I've binge-watched some tv, and I may have had cheeseburgers a little more frequently than I should have, but who hasn't from time to…

I hope I'm not creepy. I've talked about it only when the other guy asks, and I've tried to keep discussion of it limited to concise answers to specific questions. But maybe I should think of it in terms of 'creepiness' rather than 'honesty'.

Thank you. I know that one of the things I need to work on is allowing myself to feel that my emotional responses are valid.

Thank you. I've been thinking about commenting for a while, just because I've liked the feel of this community. And I've been trying to make a point of doing things I haven't or wouldn't have done (within reason) before. So why not comment online?

Kudos on your math (I'll be 37 in January). And thank you for your advice. It's funny how advice can mean more when it comes from a complete stranger.

Too bad.

Long-time reader, first-time whatever. The commentariat on this site, and especially for Savage Love, has always seemed to me to be particularly engaged with each other. I think I need some of that right now.