Well for starters obviously COBRA got their hands on the Chinese made weather dominator. After all the Chinese invented climate change.

I know this isn’t a dish, but when I spent time in Guadalajara, there was this drink made from roasted maize called Tejuino. I’ve never seen it and anyone I ask that isn’t a native to the state of Jalisco, México, has no idea what I’m talking about.

If you are flying United:

Next you are going to tell I don’t need this water bottle I bought that tells me when I’m thirsty. What is this?! The dark ages?!

Man, I wish I wasn’t broke. Someone buy that for me, please? Haha.

I had an epiphany this morning.

I’d start selling United stock if you have any. They are going to plummet hard for a few days.

I have trouble letting people go. Once I am emotionally invested in someone I do everything in my power to try to make our lives better. The problems happen when the other person has given up on life basically and refuses to acknowledge the outside world (basically).

I’m in a three way relationship as of now. I bone a lot, let me tell you however, the cost of boning is too damn high! Imagine juggling a chainsaw and a drum of napalm while smoking a cigar and trying to ash it. Yes, that describes about a single day of putting out relationship fires. Now, I’ve been doing this for…

Oh I see. So that’s why Iron Man broke up with her. He simply got tired of her alternative shenanigans.

Uh hello? Everybody knows that only HEATHENS study such HERESY. HERESY I SAY! The Earth is flat, vaccines cause autism, Trumpelthinskin is great and I don’t want to pay taxes! God bless your heart.

“Mr. Munchkin, what anti-virus do you normally rely on?“

Just because no one else seems to have caught this, his best friend is actually Jean Luc Picard. The bald magnet man is Magneto who is played Gandalf.

Can you imagine working directly under Trump? “Yes your orangness. No your orangness. I will sir. Thank you. You are America’s second coming sir. Thank you your grace.”

It’s ok everyone. It wasn’t his fault. It was unintended acceleration.

Second paragraph first sentence. You’written FFX instead of FFXV. Would love to see a FFX scrapbook, maybe even include a greeting card style sound byte of Tidus’ awful laugh.

Now I can truly minesweeper duel people on the street.

As an ex-hardcore wow raider I agree entirely with the sentiment. It does get pretty taxing when you have to keep optimizing your game to do the best of everything. Hours and days and weeks of practice with an entire team to get everyone exactly perfect. It takes its toll over the years.

They already knew everything about the kids as the approached. They even had their favorite colors in stock.

Thunderhorse. It seems only appropriate since it is literally a vehicle and also made of thunder.