I’ve actually met 2 but ,my husband is not one of them. At the time, it just seemed so gross. :)

I’ll never forget the ex-boyfriend who excitedly told me he’d seen an instructional video on the internet where someone had trained away their gag reflex and thought it could work for me. He then proceeded to show me a clip of a woman hooked up to a machine that operated thusly: the more she deep-throated a dildo, the…

Yeah, I would usually just take the check for a group and let people give me what they thought they owed (which was never as much as the total even without tip), because fuck it, let’s not all sit here discussing it in minute, crass detail. I’d rather just pay a little more and be done with it.

Jesus tapdancing Christ... How do you manage living on that island? Everything is trying to kill you AND waffles “aren’t a thing”?

For once, I have nothing to add to these excellent stories.

What is the madness, people being reasonable and/or excellent to each other — [reads last story] oh, there it is.

Many years ago at the group home for developmentally disabled teens where I worked there was a resident who really, really wanted to go to the best steak house in the city for his 18th birthday. He had behavior and anger issues, but was determined to earn that birthday dinner, and he managed it. So another staff…

This is just cruel. I had a much-better-than-last-week’s-oatmeal Emmental quesadilla this morning, but that’s no help if you keep posting breakfast deliciousness. What’s next, a perfect salmon eggs Benedict? A fresh-squeezed orange juice mimosa and French toast from a fru-fru NYC restaurant? How many other ways can…

Jesus Christ, Peanut Lady, your kid has an allergy serious enough for you to be toting an epipen around, how the fuck do you “forget’ his allergy? That poor kid.

Very very lucky it didn’t kill anybody.

The Russians did this with Fentanyl gas derivative in a hostage situation in Moscow and a large number of the hostage casualties was a result of gas poisoning.

The person responsible for this was ordinarily a sane, reasonable human being—remarkably so, for a chef. I have no idea what the hell he was thinking that day.

What? Who the hell would think that nacho cheese and... Gahh! My brain is throwing up now, thanks a lot Pinkham.

There was only one time I ever would’ve straight refused to get a customer what they ordered, and that time was the legendary day when one restaurant I was working at had “French Onion Cheddar” as the soup of the day. It was literally onion soup with nacho cheese in it. At the morning lineup, I was the only server…

LOL yes I pull that shit all of the time. I’ll always recommend the thing that takes the least amount of work for me haaaahahaga.

Actually, not necessarily true. I have many times warned customers away from a particular product. Usually it was actually because the product was bad.

God, that last one is like a Monty Python sketch. It’s ex-ice cream! It’s ice cream pining for the fjords!

I always find it weird when people ask questions like “Are the cookies good?"(Subway story)

When I rule the world the punishment for snapping your fingers to summon a server shall be the loss of said digits. I can’t even read a description of someone doing that without a red haze descending across my vision.

Fuck. You. So. Hard. (says the man who had bland oatmeal for breakfast and is about to drown in drool)