@jacobestes: I was this close to believing you. =( My Willy Wonka fantasy dies!

@Colton Robertson: Huh. Has it always been that way?

@MaxellDVD1: Huh. It runs faster on my <1 GHz 2004 Dell than my 2 GHz MacBook 2008 (say what you will about my computing situation). The Dell's on Ubuntu 8.04, the Mac's on OS X 10.6. Weird.

@Potatosw✭tter: I'm missing your sarcasm/total and utter seriousness.

@Mr.Affrox: Bleargh. Whatever.

@pixelsnader: Yeah, I was wondering if they were actual headphones or earbuds, so thanks.

@frigg: It's a unicorn playing CoD! Magical and . . . oh.

@Voyou_Charmant: Correction:

@edtv82: CracOS.

@j14: Oh my god! You can see the Vista in his eyes!

@Peter Hellmuth: I laughed. But to be fair, that's a feature of the OS, but simply too complicated for common Mac users.

I can't do silicon to gold, but I've got the other spells covered and I'm not averse to "doing 'really hard' things that have never been done before."

Interesting post, but while the writing style is a nice deviation, it reminds me too much of something I'd read on TechCrunch.

"Alright, alright, I wrote the article—can you stop pointing that at me?"

@Pay_Me_Or_Pay_Me_No_Attention: I could see a Wiimote-style accessory being sold for such purposes, but I see your point. Touch would be great for puzzle games, though. And a nice F/OSS cross-platform game/engine is Cube. It's greatly configurable in-game and is also open source.

@Guard: Low blow. Steam for Mac, open source games, there are a few that stand out: World of Goo, Braid, Cube 2: Sauerbraten, TF2, CS:S, Half-Life 2. . . . Many games run at acceptable framerates.

@Timothy Neill: I've got the same computer. I play this F/OSS game called Sauerbraten, and if I slow the game speed to ~65% (pretty close to the speed of TF2 et cetera), I can actually play against bots. I do occasionally play the Sniper in TF2, but I'm not really that good. Due to trackpad or erring of man, I don't…

@dave_t: I see your point. I fell for it as well. <3'd.

@modestmouse: Thank God you are starred.

That would be the end of Apple as well. I buy Apple products like so many of their other customers for ease of use and reliability. Also like so many others, I think that the iPad, while cool as a science project, isn't really better than, say a Droid X—nor is it better than a laptop. Apple was one of the key players…