I would totally drink a CBL.

You can pry my pumpkin beer or pumpkin spice latté from my cold dead hands.

Offense not taken, but marriage is essentially a civil contract. Contracts, recognised by the law, confer certain rights. The answer isn't to get rid of civil contracts, it's to establish the legal basis for more of them. Your solution is to get rid of marriage. That's not my solution. My solution is to find ways of…

I have to say, I'm not a huge fan of either show (but I do like Michaels and I've never questioned her intentions as a person.)

I had one of these too! He used to tell me that my low cut shirts were causing him to sin. He'd also cry and confess to me about having looked at porn (dude. don't care. Really hard to keep a straight face and act appropriately concerned for that hour-long conversation). He also refused to have sex with me -…

My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)

Once had a girl in high school breakup with me via Word document saved on my family computer, circa 2002. It was saved in a folder she named "Read after Prom" that she created like 5 minutes before we left for the damn event.

This was not my proudest moment, but when I got dumped by a guy who had sworn eternal love just long enough to hook me and then stomp on my heart, I called a florist, had them cut the heads off a dozen long-stemmed roses and deliver the wrapped-with-a-ribbon box of stems to the asshole during a long business meeting…

The first boy I ever kissed and my first "real" boyfriend broke up with me via AIM AWAY MESSAGE. He couldn't even be bothered to IM me himself and he put it up for everyone to see. The mid 2000s were a rough time to date.

It's as accurate a take on an acid trip as "they feel like sand" is an accurate description of breasts. I ain't mad at anyone who finds it amusing, though.

We get it. It's just not funny.

The twitter feed actually seems kind of funny, though it should be "Bride on Pot," or "Bride Who's High as Fuck," not acid.

Oops. I was only looking at the byline on top. I assumed one of the writers was just choosing to do this as a character.

This comes off as more like what a naive high school freshman would think someone on acid would be like.

This is just a one-time thing, right? It should just be a one-time thing.

I laughed a little at the veil answer's ending. But other than that...

That's my takeaway as well.

Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation with at a Party, is that you?

Swing and a miss.

I don't think y'all have done acid.