There’s also this classic Onion article:

If only the people of Hitachi had some sort of magic wand to fend off these sea demons.

Aren’t all ships hollow? How would they have crews or passengers if they weren’t?

Besides, he’s a movie reviewer. He gets paid to review movies. It’s not his job to grade on a curve.

“NOW YOU’RE INFECTING OTHERS YOU PIECE OF SHIT”

Yeah, he's mostly an average dude who lucked his way into creating something that was dead-perfect for its time and place. And he’s fully aware of that fact. He’s also frequently admitted that he likes talking about movies a whole hell of a lot more than he likes making them. So, yeah, make movies for yourself and…

I agree about the grading thing. One of the moves Ebert did was grade each movie on what it set out to accomplish vs. what it managed to accomplish. So he wouldn’t give a silly kid’s movie an easier shot at a better review vs. something from an auteur. He would use the same process for each, even if one seemed a lot…

ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE GONNA PAY!!! IT IS YOU WHO ARE THE BALL LICKERS!!!

Penelope Ann Miller?! Now that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time. A long time. Not since her early 90s heyday.

*Sarah Michelle Gellar sighs wearily*

For a guy who talks for a living, it’s baffling how Colin Quinn never met a sentence he couldn’t mangle.

Well, shit. I guess he’s fired from Twitter now, too.

Norm Macdonald is, indeed, a comedy genius...and I generally try to avoid his Twitter because of reasons like the above. He’s just kind of a mess and what he said is completely fucked up and unacceptable.

I’m having trouble following anything in this article.

Sam, there’s no way we could get AV Club coverage for this show? The last season really kicked the storytelling up several notches.

People don’t use ‘clod’ enough. It’s such a great term: ‘You clod!”

I’ve always said that Boba Fett’s death makes more sense from Han’s perspective. It’s an extremely Han Solo thing to do to kill your badass arch-nemesis by accident while blind.

Whenever Luca Brasi‘s not on screen, all the other characters should be asking “Where’s Luca Brasi”?

Now Netflix, what about that nice Tuca and Bertie we just bought you? I’ve barely seen you play with it.

I don’t mean to judge a book by its cover, but just from generally seeing how James Franco looks, talks and acts...there’s just a vibe coming off of him. He looks like he’d play a weasel who owns an art gallery in a Zootopia sequel.