It looks like a mouse face, with little ears near the root and a pointy nose down the stem. But how is it staying on? I don't think it would stay on...look how in all the photos the legs are close together to keep it from falling off. Also, is bare ass allowed on the beach? I mean, thongs are piratically bare ass,…

I mean, this is a kink thing, right? I've heard that the feeling of cool ocean water touching the balls (as in skinny dipping) is lovely and all, maybe they're going for that? But I think it's mostly a kink...

I stopped buying my dog balls from the big bins at Target (he likes the really big ones), because while he has much fun playing with them, they inevitably pop. Sometimes after only a few minutes of play. I've tried soccer balls and basketballs, which he also pops. Then he'd be so, so very sad, forlornly carrying…

My dog does that...he'll also fart right in your face. He thinks it's a game because Mr. AuLait farts loudly in the dog's face (this was not something I knew about him when we met since the dog came after marriage; I am stuck with it now), so now the dog thinks farts are a game.

Can they be opium-enhanced vegetables?

Leftover restaurant salad is kinda gross, tho, really. Especially if it has friend chicken and dressing already on it. I guess you could get dressing on the side, but the chicken would still make the greens all greasy.

Waste not, want not, no?

Look the real crime is that they use both Asian and Oriental. "fresh Asian greens tossed in a tasty Oriental vinaigrette and topped with crispy noodles, toasted almonds and golden fried chicken."

Vulvadoodles are the dessert of choice for man-hating feminists. We should have the girl scouts sell them so they learn to be proud of their vulvas.

Being upfront and teaching kids the right words is great. It is bizarre to me that using the correct words for genitalia would be verboten. That is absurd and there are plenty of times she might need to use the word in school. But was the teacher's objection to her using the word vagina, or was it announcing that…

Indeed. There are a couple really common foods I don't like, so I try to scope out the menu online ahead of time, and can always find a dish that doesn't have them. It's not the restaurant's problem I have an aversion to onions.

It's pretty sad when stacking cups quickly is considered a "talent." And the only thing you're good enough at doing you want to showcase it as such.

Don't forget the "they didn't have to sign up to get hazed," that's always a good one.

It's kind of like a wish sandwich.

Jezebel reported on a blond white woman who was honored for her beauty AND ALSO got kicked out of her sorority for being cruel, and you have to be pretty fucking cruel to get kicked out of a sorority. It's not like she was attacked just for winning a beauty pageant. I mean, I think it's a total waste of time and…

She's Miss America. Saying bad things about her = you must hate 'Murica and all its lovely ladies who exist, you know, to give men a reason to wash their truck. So, Faux News has to bluster on about how this clearly true thing is all just about hating on real 'Muricans and get their base all in a froth over the wrong…

Pfft, buttermilk pie isn't even the list, so obvs the whole thing is invalid. Buttermilk pie would be in the top 10 for sure, probably top 5. There's clearly a fruit bias here.

You know, rarely do I feel the need to ask for a different table then the one I've been given. Maybe I'll ask to be near the windows if the place isn't crowded, but I can't imagine what could be so wrong with 4 different tables in one restaurant.

I was also wired more for puppies than babies. Bought a house not so I could have kids, but so that I would always have a secure home for a dog. We should start a club and everyone brings their dog to the meetings.

Considering I honestly base many of my life choices on how sad/happy it will make my dog, this is effective advertising. Weekends used to be for sleeping in and doing the Sunday crossword, but now they are for getting up with the sun and romping in the woods (and I hate the sun and the woods). I am constantly…