To be fair, Jim Harbaugh is ALWAYS the asshole, no matter the situation.

Instead, he's decided to quit football and focus on soccer in hopes of maybe being the next Jozy Altidore.

There is really only one suspendable offense in the NFL: embarrassing The League.

I'm seriously beginning to maybe consider dropping the NFL as my moral compass and ethical arbiter.

I'm cool with what he said because he wasn't trying to take my guns away.

"Yeah, you know what Roger, that excuse fucking stinks."

Adam Carolla has a perfect line about situations like this:

I seriously love that it's actually possible Goodell will actually be fired for this.

Have you seen the sleeveless 2nd Amendment ones?

Throw a scrunchy in there and you've basically exhausted all of Cosmo's sex tips.

I mean, if you need that kind of assurance then you can't do an open relationship. I know I couldn't, personally, so I wouldn't try to. I'd still be more open than this dude, however. I mean...wow.

conversely, i will now ONLY date people who call it the bathing suit area.

I'd dump anyone who thought the only one who should have to follow rules in an open hetero relationship is the woman.

The FA Cup has nothing to do with it. UEFA's club coefficients are based on the last five years of European play. So Arsenal, which has made at least the Round of 16 in each of the last five years, is above City, which has only escaped the group stage once in that time.

Somewhere there's a hot sports take being written about Mankins' selfishness hurting the team. For some reason "a contract is a contract" only when a player is holding out, not when a team demands you take a pay cut or take a walk.

that just means you're sane.

League One is actually two leagues below the Premier League. The Championship is one league below the Premier League. This is a AA club pounding a MLB club, basically.

Why Your Team Sucks: 2014 Manchester United

Well, the Trojan is broken, but at least he pulled the little guy out in time.