As the product of two parents who had me when they were in their 40s, I don't appreciate your judgement. And since you’re someone who hasn’t even been in this position, I don’t feel it’s really appropriate for you talk about how torturous it is. I’m glad my parents had me when they did, and I too plan to have kids…

Tyler, please do not call women “females.” Please see:

Human Sexuality was one of the best courses I took at college. The most valuable part was learning about being trans and having a panel of transitioning individuals talk to the class about their experiences. It was heartbreaking, heartwarming, and for the many fratbros who enrolled, probably the most enlightening…

This is a really important point. Even for more average families, monitoring your kid’s online activity is considered responsible parenting by many nowadays.

God I’m sorry. But I want to thank you for bravely sharing your story, because even though my experience with emotional abuse is more limited, hearing your story has helped me and my boyfriend. It’s easy to feel isolated when you’re on the receiving end of the emotional mind fuckery. I am pretty shocked at the vitrol…

I like to hope that for most it’s simply ignorance, misunderstanding, or stubbornness... But you’re probably right about some of them. :/

Err, I meant the mom’s talks about her relationship with her daughter. By all means, continue as you are. I just think the mom should focus on the foundations of a good relationship with her kid... You know, love, trust, etc. instead of holding money over her head. It’s at least more likely to be successful.

It’s disappointing that so many commenters are dismissing the experiences of people who have survived emotional abuse and pointed out the similarities. Sure, it doesn’t mean we know all the facts here, but I would hope that the sharing of these experiences would be met with sympathy and attempts at understanding…

Money =/= love and shouldn't even be part of the conversation.

Don’t beat yourself up - the reason you didn’t put it together is precisely because he is manipulative, and he’s good at it. I also know how hard we try to hold onto hope that there are redeeming qualities in a person we want so badly to love us. Take care and stay strong. At least with this knowledge, you’ll be…

Yep, my boyfriend and I both had trouble with his mother, mostly because she’s really controlling and manipulative. It’s sad, but right now we avoid contact to protect ourselves, and will have to continue doing so. Her parents did this to her, and it’s so deeply engrained that there’s really no hope. A friend of mine…

Oh man, I’ve heard that “censoring” thing multiple times from a mom I now have a good relationship with. Sorry mom, but I too have the right to call out your shitty behavior.

My boyfriend just got to that point of financial independence, and man is it liberating! When he was job searching, she actually discouraged him and wanted him to stay beholden to her. How can you even pretend you want what's best for your kid when you pull controlling shit like that?

It should be taken into account that a college degree is now as valued as a high school diploma once was. In today’s market most professions won’t even consider you without it, especially if you want to earn a living wage. There’s no one size fits all for when parents should cut off support, but if the parents are…

“The affection will be there or not based on the rest of the relationship, not the money.”

We don’t know the full situation, but there are a LOT of people, like myself, who’ve seen or experienced emotional abuse first hand and find it alarming. Even if it doesn’t make total sense to you, I’d ask you to please be respectful and not so dismissive of abusive victims. Abuse is often be misinterpreted by…

So sorry that you’ve felt invalidated. Abuse is often misunderstood by onlookers, and that can be really painful to experience. I want you, and all the others to know that I hear you and am 100% confirming your thoughts here. We’re not saying we definitely know all aspects of this particular situation - just that it’s…

You hit the nail on the head here. Thanks for sharing this thoughtful response - it's everything I was trying to say!

Wow - I am sorry you had to go through that. Good on you for protecting yourself from the abuse. It can be hard for people in these situations to learn to put their self preservation before those who would hurt them, especially when those people are family.

Exactly - those are serious threats to make, which is what makes this so alarming.