If you’d watch that, get ready for Chaperones 2: The Divorce.

Brain surgery? Not exactly rocket science, is it?

Church stops telling people who and how to fuck, people will stop bring their fucking-related issues to church.

he’s a total cunt.

MICHAEL BAY. He does this all the time as auditions: he made one female lead come over to his home and wash his car while he watched, and he drove another out into the dessert in skimpy clothes, and watched her walk and sweat in the heat. A few women have disclosed their experiences publicly.

I’m saying that this jazz band is like the band that played on the Titanic

“Undocumented immigrant with anchor baby” - mixed media and shit tons of gold Krylon

This is the correct answer:

THATS my new euphemism for vaginas.

Any statement on sexual assault from Donald should begin with “I’m deeply sorry for all of the times I’ve sexually assaulted women” and should end with his resignation. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

Suggest you try pegging first and see what he says?

If you ask him “Well, how would that work?” the answer that respects your well-being and safety would suggest safe words, starting with something small, and what your boundaries are. If he answers that it would be ‘when the moment is right’, when he wanted to, or something along that bent then there is a huge issue.

I’m conflicted. On the one hand, I’m 100% on her side and 100% opposed to the alt-right. On the other hand, her special was not good. I’m a fan of her show, and I liked her movie a lot, and I liked her previous special, but this one sucked, frankly.

Is that yogurt? Maybe Klonopin. Yeah, Klonopin and yogurt.

I get that hot-lesbo-action is a thing but I would love to see Daniel Craig snogging away at a hot bellman. Let’s do both. 

I see what you’re saying, but think of it this way:

Hmm. I can’t imagine what white people did, historically, that might have been the very genesis for all those problems. Oh well, I’m sure it’ll come to me one of these days.

We’re woke, its just that we just woke up. Its 7a.m., we were up late, and we’re still a little groggy. Let us get some coffee and figure this day out.

I apologize on behalf of the (what might surprise you) huge number of military officers who didn’t vote for this imbecile and are horrified by him and his actually more terrifying sideclown.