"It's a FAAAANCY restaurant, Daddy!"

AIDS… it's cool
THE FOOT FIST WAY isn't so hot, but Danny McBride is fucking scary good in it. That right there, that's conviction.

I would totally have sex with that comment.

Are we talking about drunkenness, substance abusing and general social uselesness? 'Cause then yeah, I agree with you. Otherwise… um, fuck no.

Well then
it's instantly hooky, but seems increasingly callow as the record plays on

I first encountered "Bloom County" through my local library, via the "Billy and the Boingers Bootleg" collection. The little record was in a paper sleeve attached to the inside front cover. Read the book about a dozen times in two weeks, played the record about as many times. (And if ya don't know by now, Bill bit the…

I'd argue that anyone who doesn't alphabetize their DVDs/CDs/dildos/whatever doesn't know (or care) what the fuck they're doing. But that's just me.

Murnau/Borzage
I was thinking about buying the Murnau/Borzage box set. Then I checked out Amazon.com. Practically every review mentions the packaging as being overly bulky and extremely unfriendly to the packaged discs, resulting in much scratching and breaking. I figured that was the impetus for this inventory. I was…

Jesus, 40 percent?
I'd say four percent, and that's only for the Amy Smart scene. Otherwise, what a pile of fucking shit this film was. There was a time when I thought Alexandre Aja had promise. That time has passed.

One of the things I wanna do before I die…
…is hit somebody with AUDITION tabula-rasa. I came THIS close to doing it to my wife's best friend, which would have been amazing considering she couldn't make it through THE DESCENT without leaping out of her skin. Then another friend of theirs ruined it by mentioning how…

Yeah, that "thing" about IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE?
I think it's the brutal horrible Depression-fueled depressing realism about how a lot of times everything you do and all your good faith still doesn't keep your life from sucking. That's why the saccharine at the end goes down pleasantly — Capra fucking earns it. And I…

Psycho II!
Haven't seen this in a long while, but I remember watching it in a state of disinterest that gradually became amazement at its non-suckage, which then turned to devilish glee at how much fun it really was.

How odd
Despite the snark in the intro, I find myself more familiar with the titles on Aaron Burgess's list than any other representative. Hooray for loud shit in my opinion.

So…
Is Scott Tobias free of resistance? 'Cause that could be dangerous. I've got a copy of MANIAC NURSES FIND ECSTASY I might have to mail out…

Meatgrinder: The Three One G Story. Featuring a bunch of guys in masks as The Locust.

If it should get made, I will go to it. I will pay my money, sit down and wait. If, after roughly thirty minutes, Will Smith has not eaten an octopus, I will walk out.

Lemme try that again
Just to clarify:

What, are there no Vern readers here? SEAGALOGY, bitches!

Richard Robot: The movie you're looking for is IN A GLASS CAGE. Have fun.

There's also…
…Primal Scream's "Vanishing Point" album. Hey, Kowalski!