It’s worth noting that Gina Rodriguez directed this episode and that freewheeling seven-minute (!) monologue. Quite an accomplishment!

This is how I imagine their wedding:

For their wedding, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom should each sail an 18th century pirate schooner (constructed just for the wedding) right up next to each other off the coast of California, throw the anchors, tie them together, and then get married on the gangplank between them.

Johnny Depp regrets falling in love with Amber Heard but not being an alcoholic/drug addict asshole wife beater. 

Then again, she did vote for Jill Stein.

Then again, she did vote for Jill Stein.

She was in Clerks 2, not Clerks.

they better end up together!! petra needs this, heck, i need this

I half expected to see her Sin City mugshot. Now that would have been intimidating. 

I like to imagine that this conversation is us screaming at each other in a fire tornado. 

congrats to us for knowing HOW BRAS WORK 

thank you for bravely standing up for what’s right!!!!!!!!!!

I used to live a few blocks north of Keanu’s Manhattan apartment and hence, weirdly, would bump into him... a lot. To the point at some point we knew each other visually enough to sort of nod, acknowledging the other person on 8th Ave or when he’d be just sitting, by himself, semi-low key as to not be recognized in…

Finding out Keanu Reeves is a genuinely nice guy makes the world seem slightly less shitty.

There’s also that time he gave up his seat on the Subway to a woman who was standing. He seems like not just a regular guy, but an especially nice regular guy.

Why would we have to convince him that he did something everyone already knows he did?

Quick, Kinja, everyone convince Drew he wrote the exact opposite a year ago.